Dear Mr. Dream Man,
First of all, you must find and pursue me. Please do not expect me to do so. Do not be offended or hurt if I do not drop you hints and act only as a friend to you.
Please be a gentleman: open the door for me, pay for my meal, be sweet, surprise me with flowers or buy something small yet significant, allow me to be first, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, be courteous, initiate any type of conversation and do be kind. Do not tell inappropriate jokes, ever. Be mindful of mixed company. Be respectful to my friends and I.
Do not be jealous when another gentleman talks to me, especially if you have not done anything to follow through on your intentions, meaning, you would have had to state your intentions to my father to appropriately be jealous.
I will play hard to get. It is your job to let me know that no matter what I do, say, or even how hard I “make you work” you believe I am worth it.
Please say” Hi” to my family, they see you talking to me. Besides, there are more family members for you to meet, so you might as well start practicing.
Personally, I need to be treated kindly, as a jewel, as someone who is rare and priceless. If I am not treated as such, please be warned, this relationship will not progress into anything more than friends. I must feel secure-do not assume wrongly, relationships are hard and I understand everything will not turn out perfectly, for such and such is life; yet you must be capable of letting me know that though times are hard you are not giving up.
Lastly, if you expect to marry me, you must know that I expect you to care of me and my future family. I expect you to be a leader and to take the initiative. I expect you to be my best friend and I yours. If you find yourself disagreeing with any of the above statements I strongly suggest you give up now.
The woman you are trying to dote on
I thought this letter was quite funny but true…