Friends

DISCLAIMER: This may not have an adequate conclusion and may end up to be a rambling bumbling speech.

Friends. Have you found that friend that understands exactly how you feel and thinks in the way that you think? THE friend you call your twin?

Have you been in one of the friendships where it doesn’t take much to “make it work,” so to speak? I think people just say that to make themselves feel better.

Friendships take a lot of time. One does not randomly become best friends by running into each other every now and again. You spend time with one another, build memories, and have inside jokes.

I have a friend-he believes in the not giving much to make it work philosophy. I’m not a needy person by any means, but when one hasn’t heard from a friend in three months you start to wonder-although he has texted me, you know it’s not the same.

So, three months later my life has seen more action this year alone than in my college & teenage years combined he calls me trying to figure out what else has been new in my life. A lot has happened actually and something happens within me where I don’t want to share and tell him. I don’t need or want him to know.

The only reason this thought process goes on in my mind is because I have changed. I’m not the same person he knew three months prior, he wasn’t there to witness the changes or help me through them either.

Truth time: I went through this same thing when I came back from college. I had withdrawn from everyone. I was a completely different person from when I had left. I had changed so much. I had grown spiritually. I had formed my own convictions. I had experienced real friendship-it was more than going shopping and talking about boys/girls, you know the staple. Real friendship where you prayed with one another, you talked about what you were learning in devotions, what struggles you were going through, etc. I had experienced others’ burdens-I had experienced carrying it with them.

Back on track with truth time, I moved back “home” and withdrew from everyone. I didn’t even try. I hadn’t tried during the summer months-because no one would really notice. I struggled with hearing the same old stuff-the complaining, the gossip, the apathy.

For months, I struggled. I didn’t talk to anyone. My friends consisted of a few adults who remembered I still existed, my siblings, and Cayleigh. Part of the problem was I was holding on and not wanting to let it go.

What I did. I changed Sunday School classes. I am going to RU. I’m participating in the RU curriculum. I’m surrounding myself with people who are like me-sick and tired of the complaining, the apathy and striving for change.

Friends who know, understand, and moving in the same direction.

I’m working on my pride at the moment. I know I hurt a lot of people by withdrawing and being a recluse. I probably disappointed them as well. I’m more of an actions speak louder than words person but I know a few who would appreciate being talked to about my past, present, and future.