2 years, 6 months, & 1 day later…

It would have been.

The thought of those numbers are just that- a thought. Nothing significant, nothing to cry over, nothing to be bitter about, nothing to be sad for, nothing to lose my sanity and dignity over.

The above numbers would have also signified an inverse relationship with the days til marriage number, yet they are not. The number that now sticks out is six months of singleness.

In those six months many changes have taken place:

  1. I find myself living life, not implying that when I was dating I wasn’t living life. I just never experienced a singles life.
  2. I find myself investing in others. Of course, when I was dating I invested in my boyfriend and my family but now I find myself able to do more and reach out more without having to calculate how much time I can give to someone and still have quality time with my boyfriend.
  3. I find myself thinking about dating and marriage without bias.

My thoughts? Extensive and abundant:

1. I desire to serve God with everything I have. I firmly believe I am supposed to take my CPA exam and get an MBA degree. I also know my life calling is not to exert myself in a business and climb the corporate ladder.

1a. I desire to cultivate my desire to help younger girls.

I have begun to notice how I reach out to those younger than me. For example, at college I became fast friends with my freshman roommates and even those in my prayer group. I am still friends with them today. Even as a Senior I invited my freshman roommate to a majority of things I did. Even today, we are good friends. Now I’m home but I still find myself drawn to converse and interact with younger girls-Godinez girls, Renae A, etc. Girls who are 2-5 years younger than me.

1b. I minored in Psychology in college, which was basically psychology/counseling because a majority of the counseling classes were classified as psychology. I always loved counseling/psychology. When I was younger (in HS) I actually wanted to be a psychologist. Now that has turned into a desire to further pursue Biblical Counseling.

Conclusion 1: With the above desires, how much time would I “waste” or lose if I was in a dating relationship? For me the answer is too much time. I suppose, the man wishing to walk into my life has to be some amazing ever-growing Christian constantly striving heavenward.

2. Lately in RU we’ve been talking about men. Being the woman a man needs, etc. The question was asked of everyone, “What can you give to a man?

As I sat there that evening and as I sit here today, I find myself an ordinary girl. I have no leverage over any other woman out there. We all offer the same things, maybe in different venues and different ways but it’s still all the same.

Conclusion 2: I have no unique characteristic to offer a man that no other woman would be able to offer him. Why waste an ever-growing Christian constantly striving heavenward man’s time?


Changing gears…my thoughts on marriage are not all pessimistic. I’m not a bitter single lady despising men around the world.

1. I think being a mother is such a high honor bestowed upon a woman by God. He trusts you with precious lives and souls, that thought alone is awesome! What greater calling is there than to nurture and admonish souls-to teach them about God and how to live godly lives.

2. Lastly, my family is so awesome, it would be selfish not to share them with a special someone.

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12 thoughts on “2 years, 6 months, & 1 day later…

  1. I love this journal. You know, I can see myself in you!

    Back then, I had so much reservations in my relationship with God because I made myself a pseudo-Savior to my non-believer (traditional Chinese) boyfriend. After two years, I learned the most painful lesson to leave the baggage of dragging him along into my world. None of those candy-coated happiness really honored God, even my family. Our then you-and-me-against-the-world paradigm bruised me more and more, until I finally came to my senses and called it quits.

    The Lord helped me up. He was there during the most agonizing days of separation with the man whom I thought would cherish me the same way as I do. Now, even without someone special to hold a hand with, I better know how the Lord plans perfectly better than anyone else. The Lord once gave me His all, His life, His love. With this, I am so sure that He shall give answers to my littlest need to finally find my life’s own story of romance, in His time, in His will.

  2. Thanks everyone for your comments.
    @Samantha: I too am enjoying myself. Maybe I’m enjoying myself too much but then again the right guy hasn’t really come along yet either

    @Tony: Don’t worry I will be going for all the titles in the world! Jk, kinda šŸ™‚

    @Abby: I’ll be thinking about that-God chooses for us. Its true, he made us in a unique way0formed and shaped our personalities and allowed certain things to come into our lives to help us learn and to change us. Through all of his working we fall in love with THE one… Thanks

    @Nicole: thanks šŸ™‚ i miss you!

    @brownpaperbaggirl- Thanks for commenting. Glad you enjoyed reading

    @Renae: thanks girl

    @ashKool & beneaththespinlight: thanks for the comments

  3. Quite a complicated, really random and yet a very-well composed post.
    Kudos to your writing, Melanie! Keep it up.

    And yes, it IS worth its while to share that special someone with the wonderful family that we are so proud to have… šŸ™‚

    Keep writing!

    You can read me at –
    http://tehsecretcloset.wordpress.com
    Thanks,
    ashKool.

  4. I think it is wonderful that you took the time to share all of this… I think you would be and are a wonderful Counselor to young girls… I think you do have some unique to offer a man, yourself. You are a beautiful, considerate, caring, Godly woman and any man who passes over you is not very smart in my opinion… do I think you should go out searching for the man God has for you, no, but I do believe that in His time the perfect guy will come along and you will been the ever-growing Christian woman he needs! šŸ™‚ I love you and am still amazed at what the Lord has done in you life… The Mel that use to be would have never written all this! šŸ™‚ I love you…

  5. Thanks for the sweet thought about being a mom. I never felt this way until my little Charlie came along. A kid makes you realize how insignificant all other plans really were. I wouldn’t change a thing! God has something much better for your life than you could ever even come up with on your own. Glad to hear you’re doing so well. It’s amazing to see how much you’ve grown as a person… and as a Christian. So proud of you girlie. Missing and thinking about you lots.

  6. This is great! It’s excellent to want a wonderful Christian man who you can grow together with. I think a wonderful Christian man will see in you something that others don’t. I think i tend to disagree in that I don’t really think we’re all the same. But then again, I don’t think we really choose who to fall in love with, God chooses it for us. There is a reason a guy chooses one girl over another girl who has very similar qualities and things to offer.

  7. “Iā€™m not a bitter single lady despising men around the world. ” so glad you said it… sometimes i think my friends feel like I am this way cause i’ve been single a year. honestly, I just am enjoying getting to know myself better and the right guy hasn’t come along yet. šŸ™‚ Loved this post so much!

    • you should definitely be concentrating on getting that MBA. If you’re already to that point, and that’s what you want, then why not strive for it? I know how you feel as to how you find yourself relating to girls 2-5 years younger than you. I mean, i don’t find myself relating to girls 2-5 years younger than me, because that would be kind of creepy. haha. i find myself relating to guys 2-5 years younger than I am mainly because most of the time I’ve been what they’ve been through and I’m able to help them out. That’s always been a goal of mine: to help others. That’s probably why I was interested in becoming a psychologist as well.

      Great post! Just remember, find out who you truly are in this “single period” of your life. You will come to realize that there ARE characteristics that men look for, that other women may not have. Everyone has a bit of an edge over the next person, it just depends on who is looking for that certain edge.

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