Taken over by force

Today was supposed to be a planned out day.

Plans: Blood test at 11:30, Lunch with  a friend, Family time with my cousins and niece! Birthday party 4:30, Back with my cousins for more family time.

What happened?

I awakened at 9 to get ready for the day. As I was walking to the bathroom for my shower I noticed the only car in the driveway was the durango. Mental note: check to see if my car is even here. I went out to “my car” at 11 to go to my blood test in Covina. My car isn’t there! My dad had taken it. Ugh, drive to my dad’s work then to Covina. I was late.

As I was on my way to the bank I was overcome with intense itchiness, irritation and frustration. I had not slept well at all this past week because of my eczema. I completely broke down. I was tired. Tired of no rest, tired of my eczema, tired of not being able to feel any type of relief, tired of not seeing any type of results no matter what I did. Tired of having to be fine/ok but not up to par.

I broke down crying. I was tired. I was exhausted. I came home, fell into bed crying tears and crying out to God for any type of relief. I eventually fell asleep and awakened around 4pm.

My brother asked me how I could sleep that long. I told him I cried myself into an exhausted sleep. He was surprised. I reminded him that he has no idea how I feel. Albeit he has eczema but his is nothing compared to what I experience. I also told him he wouldn’t handle a day in my shoes. He agreed wholeheartedly.

I was in and out of sleep today. I won’t be in church tomorrow. I’m hopeful tomorrow night I’ll be able to go. I miss church. I didn’t go to RU Friday for hope of relaxation but I ended up doing laundry and chores because my siblings forgot I had asked them to. Even though I texted them to remind them. oh well.

So today, I was taken over by force. Not that I’m complaining because today was also the first day since I’ve been home that I have taken a nap on a Saturday.  I don’t remember a Saturday since being home that I have done nothing but relaxed and stayed home. Its nice actually. Oh and today all I ate was fruit. Tomorrow will also be the same although I was going through the fridge today. We have a lot of veggies. I may throw some green & red bell peppers, cabbage, zucchini, and green beans together. I’ll let you know.

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6 thoughts on “Taken over by force

  1. Pingback: Welcome to my Randomness XI « The past to the present

  2. Well I know the feeling of having some health issue that isn’t clearing up and crying myself to sleep…I am sorry that you are at that point 😦 I am also hoping and praying you are at church tonight since I am visiting all day 🙂 love you

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