Operation: Life Clean-Up

Facebook

This past weekend I re-activated my de-activated Facebook to retrieve pictures of my dad. I decided to post a Facebook status with my number and blog url. I also decided to RE-de-activate on Monday, which I have done.

I had 10 friend requests and 30 notifications from different friends within 48 hours. Most from friends I already keep in contact with.

Someone please help me understand why I must keep my Facebook? I’m told it’s more convenient to keep in contact with friends. If friendships were all about convenience, we’d have so many friends. I’m sorry, I’m not your friend out of convenience for you.

I don’t keep in contact with friends because its convenient for me. I keep in contact with friends because I care. I think of certain friends every now and then and I send them a text, an email, or I leave a voicemail.

Friendship does not consist of likes, comments and wall posts. We build friendships on conversations, struggles, and laughter.

I realize distance hinders a lot of those things we build our friendships on but I, as an idealist would rather not ruin friendship for convenience. I am perfectly happy to wait for an email, text, or phone call rather than receive a wall post consisting of 8 words to sum up the past 6 months of your life.

What have I discovered through my Facebook ordeal? I have realized through my inability to disappear completely from Facebook, I am incapable of letting go those who need to be let go. What does that mean? I am the type of friend who cannot let you go until something drastic has been done to our relationship-lying, deceit, etc. If it is merely a lack of communication, I believe we are still friends. That belief is untrue.

For example my friend Christina. I had de-activated my Facebook in February. Unbeknownst to me, she had changed her number sometime after that. She found me by messaging my ex-bf for my number to let me know she was getting married and wanted to send me a wedding invitation.

There are ways of finding those you really want to get in contact with.

On the other-hand, I had texted a college friend “I will be de-activating my Facebook.” She then proceeded to ask, “Why?!” I told her, “Andre broke up with me and I need to get away from it” I never heard from her until I had sent a mass e-mail about my blog. Mind you, it was two months after I had text her about my breakup. I do not know how difficult it would have been for her to send me a text saying something like “Sorry, I don’t know how you feel, etc” This particular friend, a term I am using very loosely in this instance, was a friend in name but not in action. She would not care if I had Facebook or not. She would be categorized as one of those “friends” I need to let go of.

What am I doing? I will be going through Operation: Life Clean-Up.

I’m starting over but allowing people to find me, either through email, blog, or my no-picture Facebook.

I know you are thinking “FACEBOOK?! You just ranted about Facebook.” I make allowances for those friends who have made it a point to send message me on Facebook and I understand they never check their emails, have limited texting plans, and phone calls are out of the question because we’re on different time zones or a different continent altogether!

I will not add you if I already have your phone number, email, and blog url-it just doesn’t make sense to me. Albeit, my blog views jumped to 100+ each day I was on Facebook I’m not too crazy about trafficking to my blog if no one comments or communicates with me.

Again, I’m a difficult person to understand and I sympathize with you; I really do. I know you are probably thinking I want to boost my ego so I can find out how many people are searching for me, who want to keep in contact with me, who miss me, etc. I’m sorry to let you know that is untrue. I am perfectly happy to become a hermit and have my blog as my best friend. Ask Renae or Danny, they will agree with me.

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23 thoughts on “Operation: Life Clean-Up

  1. I agree with so many of your points. In many ways, Facebook brings out the high schooler in so many people. Whose is friends with who, etc., etc.,I also believe it creates a false sense of friendship. I do participate in Facebook and have fun with it but I recognize it is not a true community etc., etc.,

    • Thanks! I was tired of it all. I’m content with my “anonymous” facebook with 12 friends because many of those friends its hard to reach on the phone/text because of different time zones or we’re not that close of friends to have each other’s numbers, etc.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  2. Pingback: Welcome to my Randomness XVI « The past to the present

  3. Hey!
    Love the post! =]
    And all points are very good! I also go through a ‘monthly’ clean-up, where I decide who is really my friends on FB and then deleting the rest! I find it useless to have ‘friends’ on there that I won’t greet in real life [just because we went to high school together] But I don’t think I’ll ever Delete or de-activate my Fb… I like it too much =D

  4. Two things:
    1. I will not add you if I already have your phone number, email, and blog url-it just doesn’t make sense to me. Albeit, my blog views jumped to 100+ each day I was on Facebook I’m not too crazy about trafficking to my blog if no one comments or communicates with me. this totally spoke to me, because what I’m writing is ultimately for me and if someone relates GREAT. If not, I’m still gonna write.

    2. FB is a blessing and a curse. I’ve reconnected with great friends from HS whom I genuinely did miss. I’ve also had people who went out of their way to shun me in HS try to “friend” me. Which, based on what I can tell is all about the numbers game. And if you were lame enough to make fun of me, etc in high school what is to stop you from doing the same now that the internet has provided a level of anonymity to your actions? So while I use it, its mostly for sharing with long-distance family and close friends.

    • #2 is so right. If they never gave you the time of day when they knew you in person why would they do so now? So true, if they wreaked havoc in your life then, who’s to say it won’t happen again?!

      Yes, facebook is a blessing too with the ease of communication with family all over the place-my mom and sister have one (i still live at home) so I’m covered! 🙂

      Thanks for commenting! Ill be checking your blog shortly.

  5. You’ve just opened a whole can of worms there. I could sit here and give you the pro’s and cons of face book all day. And could quite happily have a real good debate on this subject (I like debates but not in a nasty way) but I haven’t got all day so here are just a few reasons why I think it’s good and not good to have a facebook account:
    Good reasons (based on what’s happened to me)
    It’s good to get in touch with those you haven’t seen for years,without facebook I doubt very much I would of found friends I haven’t seen since I was 9 years old and am now pretty much best mates with
    pictures, I think it’s good if you couldn’t make it to someone’s birthday/wedding etc to see the pictures as otherwise you might not see the pictures till you see them again
    Keeping in touch with people who have gone travelling or moved away/abroad! there’s more you can do on facebook than just email
    It saves me money as I use it like texting because it doesn’t cost me money on my phone to do this
    Bad reasons –
    It can cause major issues in relationships, things can be portrayed in the wrong light
    Too many people want to be your friend on facebook who you may have never seen just because they know your friend then never speak to you
    It can cause bullying and stalkers

    Anyway everyone is entitled to their opinion and I think if you feel you need to get away from facebook then that’s what’s right for you. I did have a de-tox from it for 2 weeks and it does you good not to use it sometimes.

    sorry if I have offended anyone I haven’t meant yo.

    • hey don’t worry. i didn’t take offense i know facebook is a touchy subject and i was prepping for a lot of “hate comments”

      i appreciate your comment-pros/cons. its true i’m just detoxifying from those ‘friends” that i don’t need to be friends with 🙂

  6. I have thought about deleting my facebook too. You made such a good point you shouldn’t be friends with someone out of convenience, I don’t get why people who have your phone number still post on facebook instead of calling or texting. I think the only reason I keep it around is to post pictures really. I agree with on on this one Facebook should never be the center of anybody’s social network.

    Letters-Unsealed
    SuckyPeopleSuck

  7. I totally back you up on this one :)… I am going to be cutting back the friends I have on facebook so I don’t get a bunch of useless info… I have already done it every now and then but the next time is going to be drastic 🙂

  8. I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I created a joint facebook account solely for the purpose of uploading pictures of the kids for his family, who live in another state. Then just this week I got a message through facebook from someone that I went out of my way to lose contact with 5 years ago. I’m over the facebook thing. Good for you and good luck with the clean-up!

  9. melanie, I agree with you on this, I’m just hoping I wasn’t ‘that college friend’ that you don’t consider a friend anymore…

    • Aw thanks for stopping by my blog!

      And of course not you are not that college friend i made it a point to find you to keep in contact not to let you know we’re not friends anymore! LOL

  10. I think I understand where you are coming from. So let me just say, you are not alone. 😉 Although I can’t deactivate my FB since that’s how I communicate with relatives abroad so I do it in other ways. Or better yet, I just ignore “friends” altogether. I also choose the people I approve on FB. =)

    • Yeah, I understand about the family overseas. Lucky for me, my sister and my mom have a facebook so I keep up with the family news through them 🙂

      I figure its easier to deactivate and have another unknown facebook account than having to make customizable lists and not ignoring/confirming friend requests. Lol. It’d be pretty obvious I purposely deleted half my facebook ‘friends’

      I’d just rather not deal with any of the drama!

  11. I keep having to activate/deactivate Facebook too. I’ll need it to get a photo or some link I posts or something and then deactivate it when I’m done. I’m getting good at reading the “are you a robot?” writing that they make you type in before it’s deactivated.

    • Yeah I know what you’re talking about LOL.

      I hate activating/reactivating but I also don’t want to delete it because I have 50 albums on facebook. Comprises a big 4 years of my life.

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