What am I doing?

At 1:oo a.m. I decided to take a shower.

Now, I’m wide awake.

What am I doing?


Its 1:40 a.m.

What am I doing?

I don’t know.

 

I sit cross-legged on my bed flipping through my journal-debating if I should read what I wrote in my journal when I was still with the bf.

Maybe I lost or maybe I won, but I read.

Many of the entries without dates. Many entries about my googly feeling about my boyfriend.

Do I cry?

Maybe a little.

What am I doing?

 

Many entries with questions and unknowns.

Many of the entries are questions I have now and the unknowns I’m experiencing.

What am I doing?

 

One grave difference I notice. Maybe you have too.

 

I’m different.

 

Same questions but from a different person.

A different person today, single yes.

A different person from 11 months ago, taken, yes.

 

What am I doing?

I’m doing what I have known to do the past 11 months,

those times when I don’t know-what I am doing.

 

Keep going.

Don’t give up.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Photo Courtesy of Photobucket User: smileyhanchulak

 

Yes, a faint and sometimes flickering light  but still a light.

 

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4 thoughts on “What am I doing?

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