Dear Best Buy Guy,
I don’t know how often the customers you help give you their number and I realize I may be another drop in the bucket. If I may explain myself properly, I don’t usually talk to people. Period. The extent of the conversation ends at, “Thank you. I’m fine.” Sharing information to strangers who are the same age as me is uncalled for.
As I walked away the first time I met you, I knew I should have gotten some type of contact information but shrugged it aside. Besides, I’m not one to dwell on missed opportunities. How was I supposed to know that I would be back a week and a half later because my phone was having problems? How was I supposed to know the day I actually decide to come in you would be helping me? How often does that happen?
Honestly, you didn’t help my case either. You didn’t have to remember me, remember what you helped me out with, remember where you were helping me, or, remember everything we talked about. It would have been so much easier if you didn’t pick up the conversation where we left off. You even offered to put a screen protector on for me without charge. When I reiterated not being charged, you specifically told me to look for you and you would put it on for me.
In our last and final conversation, there were many times you could have mentioned a girlfriend. When I asked how was your weekend? You could have said, “I didn’t get to spend time with my girlfriend as much since I was working.” Or when I asked if you were a typical Filipino able to play the piano? You could have said, “No I don’t but my girlfriend does”, or “No, but my girlfriend’s siblings do…etc.” Don’t worry, I forgive you. I utterly failed as well, in my attempt to steer the conversation into a more polished and smooth transition into giving you my number, etc.
Then again, as I was asking you if people were having the same problems I was, you looked at me smiled and said, “No, actually I think it’s only you.” Look buddy! I do a horrible job at lying, especially when I’m already freaking out because I’m nowhere near my comfort zone. I took it as if you were putting me under the radar. Shouldn’t you have gotten the hint that I’m not a very polished flirty type girl? (Actually I’m not a polished flirty girl at all) Looking back, I probably should have said something like, “Well you found me out, does that bother you?” something completely absurd as that. (At least, that’s what I think a polished flirty girl would do, I WOULDN’T KNOW!) I assume I didn’t answer the question as you expected me to because (actually I don’t think I commented at all) you covered up and said, “I actually haven’t sold many of these phones and I haven’t done any returns either.”
Back to my utter failure at the smooth transition of giving you my number, you provided that and I suppose you could say I used it against you. You were finishing up the transaction. You stood right in front of me, looked me in the eyes, and said something to the effect of well maybe I’ll see you again about your phone and flashed your dazzling smile at me. I stood there and blurted out, “If not, here’s my number.” Then I walked away. I promise you, if there was a more discrete way to run away, I would have done so.
No, I didn’t linger to see your facial expression. No, I didn’t flash a cutesy smile back. No, I didn’t say call me soon. No, I didn’t bat my eyelashes (how does one do that anyway?). By the way, this whole process? I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. I have no idea how anyone can do such a thing on a regular basis. Everyone tells me it takes practice. I’m sorry. I’m not one to practice such an absurd and ridiculous transaction. This is definitely my first and last time, in a long time. I did say in my 22 years of living this is the first time I’ve actually wanted to give a guy my number. My friend corrected me and said, “You should probably only start giving your number away to guys when you’re at least 17 or something.” Let me clarify, “In the last six years of my life, I have never once wanted to give my number out to a guy. Let’s hope it won’t happen again until six or seven years later.”
If I were to ever run into you again? I would start laughing aloud and apologize for the awkward everything. I would probably explain to you I never do such things. EVER. Then again, why would you believe me?
Last but not least, thank you, you were the perfect person to allow me the opportunity to cross of, “Give a guy my number” on my bucket list. Too bad, you didn’t say if you had a girlfriend or not. I think my readers would have enjoyed this letter much better if I titled it, “Dear Best Buy Guy’s Girlfriend”.
Best Buy Customer,
PS. How awkward would it be if you googled those terms, “Best Buy Customer, Melanie T”