The Worst Series of Encounters Pt. 2

Remember Part 1? 

It’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged, I had to look at my most recent post. Sadly and shamefully, it’s dated May 29. It is now nearing the end of summer. 

Goodness gracious! How time has flown. 

Anyway, back to the series of worst encounters (ever), if I may add… 

So as Renxkyoko pointed out…maybe he needs a second chance? First dates hardly go well…right?

Well, the following Saturday we were scheduled to hang out. I say scheduled because it was a group event. 

Oh how I love group events. It allows me the freedom to either personalize my attention to one person….or to the group. 

So. Saturday. My sister’s college had this rally going on and since my cousin works at her school his family was going to be there. 

More specifically his daughters who are 2 years old and 11 months. (At the time, they were those ages 🙂 )

Kyleigh (2y)

Kloeigh (11mos)

 Before I pick up the kiddos, I drop off my sister around 9am to help set-up. 

I’m sitting in my car relaxing. I’ve got the seat back and I’m leaning back. 

I receive a text. ‘Hey. What you up to?’

Me: Nm. 

I’m relaxing in my car right? And when I’m in my car it should be as if I’m in my own home. Doing what I want…right?

Well, I’m in my car and I’m stretching, getting comfortable, cracking my lower back. . .

Text: Why are your hands waving in the air. 

Me: O M G . . . FREAK OUT! 

Who is this guy? and why is he watching me!?!?!?!

EEEEEWWWWW!!!!! 

Now, I’m upset. I pull out my phone and text and call everyone I can think of who would be available to talk at this very moment so I can vent. 

I find someone in a few minutes and before baring my soul, I look around to make sure no one is standing too close to my car just in case I get too loud as I vent. 

O M G . . . there HE IS! 

About 500 feet from my car, standing under a tree, with a friend, FACING MY CAR!!!!

Now I’m really upset! I let him have it through her (my friend on the phone!) LOL

And yes… I’m attending this group event later on in the evening and he is going to be there!

I ignore him the rest of the time I’m there with the kiddos.

Oh and I definitely gained another shadow that day.

Walk over this way with one of the kids… and someone will follow and stand around that area.

Walking over the other way and yup… there he is walking over the other way…

(Although I have tunnel vision my friend conveniently noticed. Actually she said it was so obvious and for my friend to notice that it HAD to be obvious. Her tunnel vision is worse than mine!)

To end the rally… I’m standing a bit close by to a circle he is in and he turns to me…

HIM: Hey Mel, what time are we meeting up tonight. 

Me: I don’t know. Text darlene I won’t be answering my phone tonight. 

WAIT A MINUTE! Did anyone notice anything weird?

HE CALLED ME MEL! 

EXCUSE ME! How long have I known you? Yet again, how many times have we spoken to each other?

Part 3 coming soon. . . I promise this time, it will be soon 🙂 

Blogging about this definitely gets me all irked up again! LOL

The Worst Series of Encounters Pt. 1

I think enough time has passed that I can safely blog about the recent happenings of my life…

Specifically the dating aspect of it.

Remember my “Boy, Do Me A Favor, Please” posts?

There was a more specific reason for those posts.

Let’s skip over to the first “date”.

I’m heading over to the coffee shop for my date with ex-marine, 20 minutes before I’m supposed to be there I get a text… “Hey, I’m on my way”

5 minutes later a.k.a. 15 minutes before we’re supposed to meet up… “Hey, I’m inside.”

My first thought: He’s early…

My second thought: OMG. He’s 15 minutes early.

My spiraling thoughts: Oh great. He’s way too excited. 10 minutes is ok but 15 minutes?! O me. What have I gotten myself into.

I walk into the back of the coffee shop because I know this boy is waiting for me in the front.

Correct, I walk up and he’s staring at the front door each time it opens. (Mind you there are glass windows)

Anyway, I say “Hey”

We don’t talk about anything substantial at least not worth blogging about…just yet.

The boy looks like he just woke up so I comment on it…

“Did you just wake up or something?”

Him: What? No, I took a nap earlier and woke up around 6:30.

Blabber blabber blabber

Melanie yawns… to cover up I say something stupid…

“Oh I’m so sorry. It’s probably after 9.”

::Looks at cell phone for time::

8:40 p.m.

My thoughts:  oh great what do i say to cover that?

Me: It’s been such a long day for me. I haven’t been home since 7am.

I don’t know what he says but we continue our conversation for 15 more minutes…

It just goes downhill from here…

He asks… When is your birthday?

Me: uhm… in the summer…

Him: Ok..when?

Me: In the summer time. I don’t really tell people my birthday. It’s not even on my facebook..

Him: I know. Nothing is on your facebook actually.

Me: What are you a facebook stalker?

Him: No…i don’t jump facebook profiles!

A few minutes pass….

Him: So what kind of music do you like?

Melanie’s thought: OMG this is the most controversial subject anyone can ask on a first date.

After this subject….

Him: So what else is there?

Me: Uhm, what? What do you mean?

Him: You know…what else is there to know about you?

WOW!!!! Here’s this cheat sheet it’s called: All about Melanie. I totally typed it out for you. 

 

stay tuned…there’s more horrendous to come.

 

Hard to believe, huh?

 

Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE! Pt 2

This is one of those posts that will continue… Click here to read the first post 

Do not text me if you’re planning to ask me out. Call me. Ask me in person. If you text me I’ll take it as a casual “Let’s hang out, friend” 

 

Yes, I expect you to pay. You asked me out. I’m taking time out of my schedule to “entertain’ you. You pay. If you would rather go dutch, let me call my girls to join me.

 

I see you ogling the girl. I’m not blind or stupid. I know when it’s a glance and a stare. 1+ looks are considered staring/ogling.

 

I hate hearing the word trust. Sadly but honestly, you are guilty until you are proven innocent. That’s how it goes with me.

 

Be a player and I will never talk to you again. I have high standards for friends and I have even higher standards for potential boyfriends. If you’re a player, you’re not my friend and will never be my boyfriend.

 

Don’t waste my time. If you don’t know what you are doing with your life and you aren’t even making steps to find out what you want to do, stop talking to me.

 

Call me. If you don’t want to be considered a bother then text me and ask if you can call tonight.. If you never text or sometimes text and you never call me, you and I are just friends.

 

Consider this a warning or a challenge: You have competition that already have priority in my life. My dad, my brother, my cousins, and my guy friends. They have set the bar and I love them dearly. You are required to stand out from the rest of them or you’re just another friend.

Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE!

I’ve had my share of dates the past month. One of the things that really irk me is that guys don’t really study up on a girl when they are given a chance. You can see my in my element, my environment. Me talking with my friends, me talking with adults, me sitting by myself, me playing with the kids. You can kinda get a feel of who i am. Do a little psycho-analysis. Please.

 

This is for all the guys that don’t want to do the homework…

Oh, me helping you means you’ve just slid into the friend category. Sorry 😦

 

Please talk intelligently. I’m not asking you to use big words; I’m asking you to use complete sentences. We were taught what complete sentences consist of in grade school. We have practiced complete sentences all our lives, do not start now to talk in incomplete sentences. I do not care if it’s a simple, complex, compound, complex-compound sentence; just make sure it is a sentence.

Do not make fun of other people in front of me. I have a sense of humor but my sense of humor does not consist of making fun of another or stepping on another person to put self above another. Some people are very witty. If you don’t know what witty means or what it consists of: you’re not witty and that means I don’t think you’re funny.

Do not buy me with your money. I always try to believe it’s the thought that counts. Anyone can flash around money and throw it down for everyone else. I notice when you’ve put thought into a gift or a date. Anyone can pick a place and pay for it but it really takes time and effort to make a date memorable but enjoyable.

Don’t refer to me as “man/dude”. Better yet don’t use the words “man/dude/bro”, etc in your conversation. I hardly use those words when I converse with you please do the same.

I just want to help, let me. I don’t know what it is with guys and not letting me plug-in the address to a gps so we can quickly start driving to our destination. I just want to help, I’m not trying to take over. Don’t be offended when I take something out of your already full hands, I know you are capable but I just want to help. I’m not expecting you to be perfect and mr. macho man. If that’s what you want to be though, you’re trying to woo the wrong girl.

Do not mock me. If there is one thing I hate is being mocked. The next thing I hate is being mocked with a high girly pitched voice.

Get your focus of yourself, now. Stop worrying if I like you or if you’re doing it all wrong because you are. I look for friends. I want a friend before I attach boy to the beginning of the word ‘friend’. If you won’t be my friend first and allow me to talk nonstop about stupid things and let me get comfortable around you, it will not work. EVER. Then you won’t notice that I’m really quiet and answer with mono-syllabic answers. You won’t notice that I haven’t answered your text 3 hours later. When I start talking to you again it means you’ve slid further away from boyfriend material and into friend category.

Sometimes, I want you to let me be. People have bad days. I do not need you to try to make me laugh. I just want you to listen to me vent or to just talk about something else other than my situation. I don’t need you to make me laugh. If you really wanted to brighten my day we would go do something. It doesn’t have to be fancy but something little, simple, and nice.

Do not say the same joke over and over again. After you’ve said it the second time, it’s no longer funny. After you’ve said it for 3 weeks in a row, I will hit the delete contact on my phone, Facebook, email, etc. Every now and then repeat the joke but every time we hang out? Get another joke and use it once.

Lastly, but the most important, Do NOT try to impress me. You WILL fail. It irks me to no end. It rubs me the wrong way. I will start to ignore you. I will run away when I see you.

 

So, this is the basics of Melanie. I know, it’s far from basic but that’s why I’m still single. Honest, I’m not hard to please; I just want and need to know: I’m worth it-he risk of being wooed and courted even if it doesn’t work out between us. Call me old-fashioned but that’s me, Melanie.

Flattered vs Sweet

Ben and I were talking about one of the situations he was asked advice on by his friend.

Scenario:

There’s a girlfriend (GF), a boyfriend (BF) and a random guy (RG). The GF was approached by RG. RG gave GF his number. GF tells the BF “Oh, I’m flattered.”

* Time passes* Unknown as to how much time.

GF takes back flattered statement and says “That was sweet of him (RG) to put himself out there for me”

Problem:

Should BF be worried? Should BF say something to GF?

Background: Other things have happened which is causing him to worry as well.

Ben’s outlook: The fact that GF isn’t satisfied with BF and enjoys being flattered by RG(s) is not good. She isn’t ready for commitment, if that’s what BF is looking for. Honestly, what BF-GF relationship isn’t looking for sole-commitment?! Anyway.

Melanie’s outlook:

Flattered? No big deal. GF took the number, smiled at the guy, walked away, and threw the number away.

Oh wait!? She took back being flattered and said “HOW SWEET?!”

GF already programmed the number in her phone.

With my outlook and Ben’s outlook put together… BF needs to have a heart-to-heart with the GF.


Any feedback, girls?

Guys, what do you think?

Travel Jealousy, Friendliness, Flirting, and Mothers… Part 2

So to continue from yesterday’s post… Read here if you missed it

We continued talking and I was feeling really awkward because I didn’t know what else to talk about. I saw my friend across the aisle and was going to ask her a really quick question. It didn’t turn out to be really quick maybe it wasn’t quick enough for him… he meandered back to his Aunt.

I kept talking to my friend. Yes, I felt bad but he walked away meaning he too was looking for a way to end our awkward conversation. My friend and I made our way outside…passed right by my Tita and him without giving him a second glance… I could totally feel eyes on me. (hey buddy you walked away!)

So, I would meet my friend and our mutual friend’s house in 5-10 minutes. “I’d head over there as soon as I say bye to my Tita… ”

I walked up to my Tita …I overheard something about dinner. So of course me being Filipino I asked “Dinner?! WHERE?!”

Tita: Carl’s JR

Me: WHAT?! Carl’s JR!!!

Tita: You want to come?

Me: Oh no I’m going to J & M’s

Tita: Oh what are you going to do there?

Me: Dinner and games…

Tita: Oh who? College and career age?

Me: Yeah..

Tita:  (Nods her head towards her nephew) Can he go with you?

I KNEW IT! UGH!

Me: Yeah.. he can come.. does he want to?

Tita: He’s not college age but he’s career age like you.. yeah take him.

Me: Uhm, ok…

We’re there without incident.. I suppose without incident. Coincidentally, the couch were the only seats open. So, Me, girl, him, and other boy squeeze on the couch. Ok it was him, me girl, then other boy. Quite a tight squeeze. Girl was trying to get me to scoot over and she very well knew that I would most definitely not!

So I took him back to Tita’s house around 830ish.

Just my luck.. they weren’t home yet from Carl’s JR. They were 5 minutes away.

So, we’re waiting outside of my car for them.

Him: How many boyfriends have you had…?……. 20?

(ME: UGH!!! REALLY?!)

Me: Oh no…I had one. …. we were together for 2 years.

Him: Oh what happened?

Me: Oh I don’t know…life?

Him: Was he Filipino?

(ME: AHAHAHAHAA YES! SCORE!!!)

Me: No… he was black…

I totally wanted to look at his expression but I was a good girl and refrained because I probably would’ve reveled in my joy in throwing him off ..

SAVED BY THE CAR LIGHTS! They were here.

Him: Thank you for the ride.

:: Extends hand for handshake ::

I accept his handshake.. oh darn what is this kid doing?

He leans in and does a one-arm hug with a cheek to cheek kiss.

::Oh you are so dead. I am so glad Tita didn’t see that. I wouldn’t be able to live this down!!!! ::

Tita: Mel.. are you going to come inside or are you leaving now?

::Hesitation…::

Tita: Come inside!

:: Darn it Mel! Where’s your quick wit?!

So, I come inside luckily I no longer have to entertain him so I stay at their house for about 30-45minutes chilling with the kids and playing the piano.

Coincidentally they have to take him to another house that night instead of tomorrow morning. I’m in the living room sitting on the couch with girl kid. He peeks his head in and says “Bye…” I look up…”Oh bye! Nice meeting you!”

Tita comes in right after him… did you all say bye and give him a hug?!

:: Not looking at Tita…letting kids answer… OH OH NO I’m not falling for that one! ::

I get home later that night my sister tells me when she got home my mom asked where I was…

Sister: Oh she’s dropping off Tita’s nephew…

Mom: Oh does mel like him?!

Sister: MOM! No, can she not be friendly to him?! He doesn’t know anyone!

Dad in Tagalog: That’s why they get frustrated with you because you say things like that…

 

Can I just say I LOVE MY DAD apparently HE’S the only one thinking straight in this situation. What am I?! THIRTY YEARS OLD THAT YOU NEED TO MARRY ME OFF ALREADY?!


Travel jealousy, Friendliness, Flirting, and mothers… Part 1

Yes all in one night. It’s insane!

So my Tita (she’s basically my second mother; HER mom babysat me when I was just a baby-oh the stories she can tell) her nephew from the Philippines was at church on Sunday.

Mind you, we were invited to their house on Wednesday for dinner-her nephew coming to visit was brought up ever so slightly..now I wonder if that was on purpose.

I digress as always.

Sunday after church she grabs my hand and pulls me toward her…I want you to meet my nephew… “Oh sure!” (You know how I am Ms. Personality when need be, UGH) Chit-chat my Tita’s sister was there and I haven’t seen her in several months so I was able to focus my chit-chat on her! Evil I know but hey! I do what I have to do.

So, we talk for a little bit it’s more of I’m talking to my Tita in front of him to talk to him… if that makes sense. Anyway, nothing out of the ordinary about that conversation. My mom is ready to leave and good thing because I am HUNGRY! I quickly say goodbye and give my Titas a hug and a kiss and tell the nephew “Nice to meet you!” while running away to the car.

Later that night after evening service. The nephew meets my dad (they happen to be sitting behind us at church) and of course I’m just chilling with everyone. My dad, my tito, my tita, their daughter Dessa. So I include them in conversation asking where he went to visit in California and asking if they took him here or there…etc… All of a sudden I realize it’s just me and him talking with everyone else gone. What happened the RAPTURE?!

“Hm… What is this about?!”

So obviously single adults talk about their lives which happens to be work since we’re single and don’t have a family…

Me: So Tita said your company sent you to all these places for training…

Him: Yeah Costa Rica for four months, Boston for 2 weeks and California for a week.

Me: Must be nice. I’m totally jealous. I LOVE BOSTON.  What’s the training for?

Him: Processes, software, etc.

Me: Oh so you’re like a computer engineer?

Him: Yeah.

Me: I’m jealous that your job sends you everywhere for training. Must be nice. (Getting the jealous vibe?)

Him: Yeah so what do you do…?

Me: I work in the accounting department. (I don’t give my title because people automatically think BANK. WRONG! I’m a fresh graduate with no experience let alone with my CPA exam passed either!)

Him: You must be rich…

Me: Oh no no no… you’re the rich one. Your company pays for your traveling expenses–meals, accommodations, etc. If you add up those expenses they pay for with your salary you make WAY more money than me.

Around this time my mother is passing by…she looks at me with a HUGE smile… and then glances at him and looks back at me still smiling… Me: “Eh hi mama” While wondering how absurd my mother is acting…

As soon as she passes by my Tita catches my eye… same dorky smile my mother gave me … (my tita is 6 rows behind us talking with her friends…without a care in this world that her nephew has been talking to this stranger for the past n  minutes)

My thoughts: OH GREAT! They’re up to their matchmaking again!

Him: So have you been to the Philippines?

My thoughts: he just asked me a question… must answer and clear facial expression to not reflect my amusement or frustration at my tita and mom’s antics OR assumptions!

Me: Yeah.. 10 years ago…

Him: Hm…nice. What part?

Me: Illigan City.

Him: Oh ok that’s where my Alma Mater is…

He then proceeds to tell me the name of the school IIT or something like that.

Me: Oh ok.. don’t know about that.

Him: You should visit…

Me: I’m planning on it.

Him: Yeah.. maybe my company will send me for training again to California. In 10 years…

Me:…I think you’re making fun of me…

Him: Oh no… laugh laugh laugh.. yeah you should visit I can take you around Cebu City…

BEFORE you make fun of me for even inkling at the thought of saying Yes I will visit… but not really answering if I would visit him and allow him to take me around the Philippines… take a look at Cebu City…

 

Cebu Capitol Building

Waterfront Cebu City Hotel

The Terraces at Ayala Center Cebu

Cebu City

 

Now tell me who would say “No… I don’t think I’ll be visiting..”

 

to be continued tomorrow… 🙂

 

 

It’s not the first time…

I had dinner with friends on my day off Monday.

Of course they asked my outlook on the dating scene-am I looking? interested? leery? fed up?

Honestly, I’ll gladly take the stage 1 of relationships: the flirting, the compliments, flattery, no DTR talks, (Defining The Relationship) or better yet…bring me to stage 3 where we’re madly in love and have put in the hard work, sacrifice, and time. Where we’re just enjoying each other without the ups & downs, etc. Where basically, I’m just waiting for my ring.

Hint at going to stage 2 and I will disappear. Even if YOU don’t hint at it, if I feel it….I will run away. I’ll put up the walls. I’ll be sarcastic and mean.

Contemplating relationships, it isn’t worth it right now. As much as I miss being in a relationship-I won’t lie its fun but it also is a sacrifice of everything you have. Of course, eventually I would like to get married, key word: eventually.

Couple the above with the factors of not knowing what I’m doing in life-job, career, etc. I wouldn’t want anymore complications. Nor do I need anymore!

Granted, I feel this way because Mr. Man hasn’t shown up on my doorstep yet. Then again, I’m also suffering from tunnel vision and tunnel hearing. Even if he were pass my way I probably have already missed him.

I digress so I finish my spiel and he comments… “That’s such like a guy…”

It’s definitely not the first time I’ve heard that said about me… nor will it be the last, no doubt.

 

I’m Not A Girl?!

Yeah. How would you feel?

Several months ago Ben and I were talking and he mentioned how I’m not a girl.

I suppose it’s because I don’t handle situations like a girl. Honestly, I wouldn’t really know how a girl would handle whatever. I suppose cry and pout til she gets her way/attention etc?

A few weeks ago my brother and I were discussing a certain girl and some drama happening. My brother made the comment, ” Dude, she’s a REAL girl!”

Me: Oh is there such a thing as a fake girl?!

I should’ve known better

John: Yes! You are so not a girl. You’re a guy.

Me: Well great. Here’s another guy thinking the same thing…

Relaying this newfound information to a friend during chat..

me:  I’m not a girl according to my brother and ben.

A-REI: I’ve thought that at times…
but i appreciate that about you 🙂

me: OMG YOU TOO?!?!?!

A-REI: lol
me: I’m being serious…seriously you think that?

A-REI: um… that sometimes you are not as girly as others?   yes
i don’t think you are a guy
that’s weird…

Unfortunately, we got to the side of the conversation where I’m seen as a guy because they’re comfortable with me, etc. Honestly, I never show a guy that I can be a romantic interest because I don’t want just anyone giving me the time of day and I most definitely don’t give just anyone the time of day.

Now that I think of it, I believe only two guys have seen “girlfriend/wife prospect” Melanie. Ex-bf and pf.

While we’re on this subject, I cannot flirt. What does flirting consist of anyway? Yes, I’m a girl because I am more than capable to connive, manipulate, and deceive- I choose not to, unless you’re a girl using the aforementioned tactics towards me. You will get schooled, btw.

Back on track, (not like we were on track towards anything anyway) not a girl=Melanie. I suppose if that’s what it seems like then so be it. I am who I am because of what I have learned through observations and experiences.

Is it so bad that I live in reality? Or that I am independent and opinionated? I suppose the man I date/(eventually) marry would like to know I am more than capable of stepping alongside him instead of pulling him along?

Are people supposed to know that about you right off the bat? To my understanding, that just means you’re on the radar for an MRS degree. It screams “PLEASE MARRY ME BECAUSE I’M 21 WITHOUT ANY PROSPECTS”

I know, I’m to act and behave womanly and lady-like, etc, which is most definitely not equivalent to being a girl in my eyes. Am I wrong here or do I just live in Melanie-land?

2 years, 6 months, & 1 day later…

It would have been.

The thought of those numbers are just that- a thought. Nothing significant, nothing to cry over, nothing to be bitter about, nothing to be sad for, nothing to lose my sanity and dignity over.

The above numbers would have also signified an inverse relationship with the days til marriage number, yet they are not. The number that now sticks out is six months of singleness.

In those six months many changes have taken place:

  1. I find myself living life, not implying that when I was dating I wasn’t living life. I just never experienced a singles life. Continue reading