Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE!

I’ve had my share of dates the past month. One of the things that really irk me is that guys don’t really study up on a girl when they are given a chance. You can see my in my element, my environment. Me talking with my friends, me talking with adults, me sitting by myself, me playing with the kids. You can kinda get a feel of who i am. Do a little psycho-analysis. Please.

 

This is for all the guys that don’t want to do the homework…

Oh, me helping you means you’ve just slid into the friend category. Sorry 😦

 

Please talk intelligently. I’m not asking you to use big words; I’m asking you to use complete sentences. We were taught what complete sentences consist of in grade school. We have practiced complete sentences all our lives, do not start now to talk in incomplete sentences. I do not care if it’s a simple, complex, compound, complex-compound sentence; just make sure it is a sentence.

Do not make fun of other people in front of me. I have a sense of humor but my sense of humor does not consist of making fun of another or stepping on another person to put self above another. Some people are very witty. If you don’t know what witty means or what it consists of: you’re not witty and that means I don’t think you’re funny.

Do not buy me with your money. I always try to believe it’s the thought that counts. Anyone can flash around money and throw it down for everyone else. I notice when you’ve put thought into a gift or a date. Anyone can pick a place and pay for it but it really takes time and effort to make a date memorable but enjoyable.

Don’t refer to me as “man/dude”. Better yet don’t use the words “man/dude/bro”, etc in your conversation. I hardly use those words when I converse with you please do the same.

I just want to help, let me. I don’t know what it is with guys and not letting me plug-in the address to a gps so we can quickly start driving to our destination. I just want to help, I’m not trying to take over. Don’t be offended when I take something out of your already full hands, I know you are capable but I just want to help. I’m not expecting you to be perfect and mr. macho man. If that’s what you want to be though, you’re trying to woo the wrong girl.

Do not mock me. If there is one thing I hate is being mocked. The next thing I hate is being mocked with a high girly pitched voice.

Get your focus of yourself, now. Stop worrying if I like you or if you’re doing it all wrong because you are. I look for friends. I want a friend before I attach boy to the beginning of the word ‘friend’. If you won’t be my friend first and allow me to talk nonstop about stupid things and let me get comfortable around you, it will not work. EVER. Then you won’t notice that I’m really quiet and answer with mono-syllabic answers. You won’t notice that I haven’t answered your text 3 hours later. When I start talking to you again it means you’ve slid further away from boyfriend material and into friend category.

Sometimes, I want you to let me be. People have bad days. I do not need you to try to make me laugh. I just want you to listen to me vent or to just talk about something else other than my situation. I don’t need you to make me laugh. If you really wanted to brighten my day we would go do something. It doesn’t have to be fancy but something little, simple, and nice.

Do not say the same joke over and over again. After you’ve said it the second time, it’s no longer funny. After you’ve said it for 3 weeks in a row, I will hit the delete contact on my phone, Facebook, email, etc. Every now and then repeat the joke but every time we hang out? Get another joke and use it once.

Lastly, but the most important, Do NOT try to impress me. You WILL fail. It irks me to no end. It rubs me the wrong way. I will start to ignore you. I will run away when I see you.

 

So, this is the basics of Melanie. I know, it’s far from basic but that’s why I’m still single. Honest, I’m not hard to please; I just want and need to know: I’m worth it-he risk of being wooed and courted even if it doesn’t work out between us. Call me old-fashioned but that’s me, Melanie.

I’m Not A Girl?!

Yeah. How would you feel?

Several months ago Ben and I were talking and he mentioned how I’m not a girl.

I suppose it’s because I don’t handle situations like a girl. Honestly, I wouldn’t really know how a girl would handle whatever. I suppose cry and pout til she gets her way/attention etc?

A few weeks ago my brother and I were discussing a certain girl and some drama happening. My brother made the comment, ” Dude, she’s a REAL girl!”

Me: Oh is there such a thing as a fake girl?!

I should’ve known better

John: Yes! You are so not a girl. You’re a guy.

Me: Well great. Here’s another guy thinking the same thing…

Relaying this newfound information to a friend during chat..

me:  I’m not a girl according to my brother and ben.

A-REI: I’ve thought that at times…
but i appreciate that about you 🙂

me: OMG YOU TOO?!?!?!

A-REI: lol
me: I’m being serious…seriously you think that?

A-REI: um… that sometimes you are not as girly as others?   yes
i don’t think you are a guy
that’s weird…

Unfortunately, we got to the side of the conversation where I’m seen as a guy because they’re comfortable with me, etc. Honestly, I never show a guy that I can be a romantic interest because I don’t want just anyone giving me the time of day and I most definitely don’t give just anyone the time of day.

Now that I think of it, I believe only two guys have seen “girlfriend/wife prospect” Melanie. Ex-bf and pf.

While we’re on this subject, I cannot flirt. What does flirting consist of anyway? Yes, I’m a girl because I am more than capable to connive, manipulate, and deceive- I choose not to, unless you’re a girl using the aforementioned tactics towards me. You will get schooled, btw.

Back on track, (not like we were on track towards anything anyway) not a girl=Melanie. I suppose if that’s what it seems like then so be it. I am who I am because of what I have learned through observations and experiences.

Is it so bad that I live in reality? Or that I am independent and opinionated? I suppose the man I date/(eventually) marry would like to know I am more than capable of stepping alongside him instead of pulling him along?

Are people supposed to know that about you right off the bat? To my understanding, that just means you’re on the radar for an MRS degree. It screams “PLEASE MARRY ME BECAUSE I’M 21 WITHOUT ANY PROSPECTS”

I know, I’m to act and behave womanly and lady-like, etc, which is most definitely not equivalent to being a girl in my eyes. Am I wrong here or do I just live in Melanie-land?