Day 21-24 of Honesty Blogging

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Day 21: The person or persons that do not read my blog but I wish he/she/they would is…

I’ve been in the right place at the right time several times for some opportune blogging letters. I would love to open up my email and find a comment from Starbucks girl or what Best Buy Guy thinks since he would read I used him to cross something off my bucket list…

Day 22 — Allowing another person to fully love me means they must…

To me, when someone has fully loved me that means they’ve seen me at my best and my worst: financially, spiritually, mentally, physically, psychologically and actually stuck with me.

I’m easily open with my worst features… I like scaring people off weeds out the people you don’t want in your life. Although sometimes it may seem I’m at my best; I haven’t given it to you. I’ve saved that part of myself for people who I want to do all for.

Day 23 — Allowing another person to fully love me means I must…

Trust them. To let them in my life. To share things about myself that very few people know. As I’ve explained to a potential boyfriend…you don’t understand the trek it is into my life. There’s a castle with a tall tower before you get to the castle there’s a moat and a wall as thick and high as the wall of China. By the way, at the bottom of the tower is a dragon.

Day 24 — Given the choice between having to live the rest of my life without my voice, or living the rest of my life without the ability to hear, I would choose…

To lose my voice, willingly. Words are so easily said and unable to be taken back…

Sounds are beautiful gorgeous things I cannot imagine not being able to hear an orchestra or the boom that comes with fireworks.

**I’m not completely back I did pass my test that I took in May and I’ve been recuperating from having to be at the computer 24/7 (sometimes it feels like that) I deactivated my FB so I had to get in some procrastination time somehow…)

Five Minute Fridays: DELIGHT

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery.

We just write without worrying if it’s just write or not.

Won’t you join us?

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.
OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on: DELIGHT

The feeling of delight can easily surprise me, after a gloomy and rainy day, the sun decides to let the world see a beautiful sunset before good night. Oh the colors that light up the dimming sky and takes in the clouds as props.

Or delight in a fresh ripe sweet juicy orange. The citrusy smell of the peel. The juice escaping into my mouth and spilling over my taste buds.

What about the delightful surprise of receiving a text from my boyfriend, “come outside” and to find a hot chai tea latte bought, just for you.

Delight it’s part of every day but will you notice it with me? Holding your child’s hand? An unexpected email from that old college friend. No line at the drive-thru. Someone let’s you squeeze in their lane at the last second. Just beating the yellow light!

No matter how little the event: bask in it, be thankful for it, and delight because of it!

Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE! Pt 2

This is one of those posts that will continue… Click here to read the first post 

Do not text me if you’re planning to ask me out. Call me. Ask me in person. If you text me I’ll take it as a casual “Let’s hang out, friend” 

 

Yes, I expect you to pay. You asked me out. I’m taking time out of my schedule to “entertain’ you. You pay. If you would rather go dutch, let me call my girls to join me.

 

I see you ogling the girl. I’m not blind or stupid. I know when it’s a glance and a stare. 1+ looks are considered staring/ogling.

 

I hate hearing the word trust. Sadly but honestly, you are guilty until you are proven innocent. That’s how it goes with me.

 

Be a player and I will never talk to you again. I have high standards for friends and I have even higher standards for potential boyfriends. If you’re a player, you’re not my friend and will never be my boyfriend.

 

Don’t waste my time. If you don’t know what you are doing with your life and you aren’t even making steps to find out what you want to do, stop talking to me.

 

Call me. If you don’t want to be considered a bother then text me and ask if you can call tonight.. If you never text or sometimes text and you never call me, you and I are just friends.

 

Consider this a warning or a challenge: You have competition that already have priority in my life. My dad, my brother, my cousins, and my guy friends. They have set the bar and I love them dearly. You are required to stand out from the rest of them or you’re just another friend.

Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE!

I’ve had my share of dates the past month. One of the things that really irk me is that guys don’t really study up on a girl when they are given a chance. You can see my in my element, my environment. Me talking with my friends, me talking with adults, me sitting by myself, me playing with the kids. You can kinda get a feel of who i am. Do a little psycho-analysis. Please.

 

This is for all the guys that don’t want to do the homework…

Oh, me helping you means you’ve just slid into the friend category. Sorry 😦

 

Please talk intelligently. I’m not asking you to use big words; I’m asking you to use complete sentences. We were taught what complete sentences consist of in grade school. We have practiced complete sentences all our lives, do not start now to talk in incomplete sentences. I do not care if it’s a simple, complex, compound, complex-compound sentence; just make sure it is a sentence.

Do not make fun of other people in front of me. I have a sense of humor but my sense of humor does not consist of making fun of another or stepping on another person to put self above another. Some people are very witty. If you don’t know what witty means or what it consists of: you’re not witty and that means I don’t think you’re funny.

Do not buy me with your money. I always try to believe it’s the thought that counts. Anyone can flash around money and throw it down for everyone else. I notice when you’ve put thought into a gift or a date. Anyone can pick a place and pay for it but it really takes time and effort to make a date memorable but enjoyable.

Don’t refer to me as “man/dude”. Better yet don’t use the words “man/dude/bro”, etc in your conversation. I hardly use those words when I converse with you please do the same.

I just want to help, let me. I don’t know what it is with guys and not letting me plug-in the address to a gps so we can quickly start driving to our destination. I just want to help, I’m not trying to take over. Don’t be offended when I take something out of your already full hands, I know you are capable but I just want to help. I’m not expecting you to be perfect and mr. macho man. If that’s what you want to be though, you’re trying to woo the wrong girl.

Do not mock me. If there is one thing I hate is being mocked. The next thing I hate is being mocked with a high girly pitched voice.

Get your focus of yourself, now. Stop worrying if I like you or if you’re doing it all wrong because you are. I look for friends. I want a friend before I attach boy to the beginning of the word ‘friend’. If you won’t be my friend first and allow me to talk nonstop about stupid things and let me get comfortable around you, it will not work. EVER. Then you won’t notice that I’m really quiet and answer with mono-syllabic answers. You won’t notice that I haven’t answered your text 3 hours later. When I start talking to you again it means you’ve slid further away from boyfriend material and into friend category.

Sometimes, I want you to let me be. People have bad days. I do not need you to try to make me laugh. I just want you to listen to me vent or to just talk about something else other than my situation. I don’t need you to make me laugh. If you really wanted to brighten my day we would go do something. It doesn’t have to be fancy but something little, simple, and nice.

Do not say the same joke over and over again. After you’ve said it the second time, it’s no longer funny. After you’ve said it for 3 weeks in a row, I will hit the delete contact on my phone, Facebook, email, etc. Every now and then repeat the joke but every time we hang out? Get another joke and use it once.

Lastly, but the most important, Do NOT try to impress me. You WILL fail. It irks me to no end. It rubs me the wrong way. I will start to ignore you. I will run away when I see you.

 

So, this is the basics of Melanie. I know, it’s far from basic but that’s why I’m still single. Honest, I’m not hard to please; I just want and need to know: I’m worth it-he risk of being wooed and courted even if it doesn’t work out between us. Call me old-fashioned but that’s me, Melanie.

Awww…you’re such a good brother!

My brother knows about my bucket list. This past Saturday he experienced what I had to go through on my casual date this past week. We all hung out as a group. My family was there and a bunch of my sister’s friends. Today my brother sends me a text:

 

11:43 am Bro: I know going on a blind date to knotts isn’t really what you want but too bad it’s what works haha april 16th if everything works out

ME: huh? blind date? lol

Bro: Nvm

ME: What? What are you talking about? I know you want to go to KBF but you never mentioned blind date

Bro: I know I was planning one for you but it didn’t work out

Me:: aw…..:: tears…::

ME: Hahahaha awwww… you’re such a good brother lol 🙂

Bro: I know :p haha

Me: Dork so what happened? Why didn’t it work out? Haha

Honestly, I was wanting to know how my brother would explain wanting to set his older sister on a blind date. Personally, I think the dude would’ve been freaked out and like Why in the world does this girl need her little brother setting her up on blind dates?! Right?! Anyway I digress.

Bro: He kinda likes someone. He’s a youth pastor. I guess he’s busy? And I don’t think he’s into blind dates??

Me: Omg lol who is this guy??

Bro: Blind date called blind dates for a reason =P

They basically didn’t want him.

I work at a school district  in the Nutrition/Food Service department. This department processes applications to free/reduced lunch.

The other day this lady calls and is asking about her ‘child’. He is considered a foster child.

We had to call her back and tell her to fill out an application at the district office so it can be processed later that afternoon and her child will be able to start receiving free lunch. My co-worker began to ask her questions.

The foster child is her grandson.

Co-worker: What happened to his parents?

Grandma: They basically didn’t want him. They were druggies.

Co-Worker: Oh my goodness really? That’s so sad.

Grandma: His mom had custody over him and she wouldn’t feed him. She would leave him alone for 4-5 hours everyday. She taped the refrigerator shut so he couldn’t eat anything.

Co-Worker: That’s horrible.

Grandma: I plan on keeping him. She can’t have him back. His dad is no better either. If she has another one, I’m going to kill her.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After the conversation we started talking about that subject. How do some “parents” not even care? How can they leave their infant unattended for so long?

Personally, I’m sickened by some people and their selfishness. How selfish can someone be? What possesses one to completely neglect their child instead of seeking help? Even animals don’t forsake their babies.

When I was younger up until I started dating my Junior year in college, I didn’t want children. I babysit children and took care of them-fed them, played with them, etc. They weren’t even my children but I still made sure they were fed. They were happy. They were clean. It’s insane when you really think about it. I never had to FORCE myself to take care of them even through my laziness or frustration in watching 3 kids at one time…they still were getting that necessary attention.

 

So tell me, how does one become so twisted and psycho that they cannot take care of their child?

Delayed Gratification…

This past weekend life threw one of its many curve balls. . . Sickness, pain, suffering, were among everyone’s feelings this past week. It has caused me to ponder a bit.

In the Filipino culture we are taught at a very young age to pursue our studies to have a better life than our parents have. No matter how “well-off” we were when growing up, it’s not good enough they expect us to live better than that.

My parents have worked hard. I don’t think I grew up deprived of anything. I suppose one could make the argument that although materiality was readily accessible or able to be bought my parents never spoiled us by buying items we wanted just because they could. My parents made sacrifices for us and I have never felt the desire to take advantage of them.

I’m concerned. When have you actually reached “better” isn’t there always something “better”?

My parents have worked hard. Earning every vacation day they took whether in actual time off or dollars. As I sit here looking at their life, I would say they have reached the “American Dream” everyone hopes for. The “American Dream” right…? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They have definitely pursued this happiness, they found it freely in Christ. They gained a few extra things along the way: each other, 3 children, a home, a car for each driver, healthcare ( I had to throw that out there, sorry)…

Since I think they’ve reached the “American Dream” I want to know…”Have they enjoyed it?”

Everyone talks about delayed gratification. Putting off pleasure and happiness now and trading it in for sweat, hard-work, and tears. So what is the time limit of delayed? For a child, it may be graduating from High School or college. For the college student, it’s graduating from college and getting that first job. For the young adult, it’s vesting in an IRA. Do you notice how the time stamps never end? There is always one more rung on the ladder to step up to.

When is one able to enjoy his accomplishments? For the Senior, it may be the summer before starting college. For the college graduate, it may be the summer before adult responsibilities kick in (or maybe 6 months after graduation when the student loan bills start marching in). That’s when it stops though, the time. Maybe I should say that’s when time snowballs. As soon as the first bill comes in, adult life snowballs: “How do I pay this bill when I’m still looking for a job?” The questions and concerns never end.

So tell me. When does one enjoy? Does it take a medical scare to jar us from our delayed gratification goals? Does it take a family member’s death to shake us to what is really important in life? Does it take a fire to burn down all our possessions to realize we never enjoyed our “props” in the house.

So I ask you today: leave the housework for tomorrow and spend time with your children. Take a break and pick up the phone and call your parents. Sit in front of the computer and Skype with your cousin. Drive 3 hours on Saturday to visit your aunt. Write the letter, the 2 page hand-written letter you said you were going to write ages ago.

If you die in your sleep, your housework will be done by someone else but one cannot hug your child for you. One cannot write the letter you said you were going to. One cannot be ‘you’ as hard as they try.

Dear Valentine’s Day

Dear Valentine’s Day,

When I was in elementary, Valentine’s day was an excuse to get candy and throw a class party.  All I had to do was buy a box of valentines cards, sign my name, and throw one on each desk. EASY!  In High School, it got a bit more complicated. Everyone is wondering who your valentine was or you’re wondering if someone would ask you. It was a big deal. In college me and my girlfriends took ourselves out until one by one we got boyfriends and/or husbands.

This year I have no boyfriend and I don’t have that group of girlfriends to go out with anymore. Even though I’ve spent a majority of my Valentine’s day ‘alone’ I’ve had time to reflect and observe other’s traditions of this holiday.

Why is it that friends don’t do things for each other? Better yet, why is there so much emphasis on one day of the year to let that “special someone” know they are a special someone to you? (How lame are those terms anyway? Special someone)  Why can’t this one day of expressing love be lived throughout the week, month, year, and decades? Instead we cherish our loved one one day of the year. Ever so often the day after Valentine’s day we find the words written on the Valentine’s card are as contrary to how we feel less than 24 hours later. How sad.

So how about it Valentine’s day? Wouldn’t you like to be celebrated every day instead of once a year?

 

CHRISTMAS: Got to mix things up a bit… Part 3 of 3

 

Read first post HERE

Read second post HERE

CHRISTMAS DAY.

At Cousin J, Cousin Jo, and Cousin Jul’s house. They are losing their house 😦

 
 

The Ladies...

Smiles

Aw, precious ... Their wedding is in July.

Eating

They had time to fall asleep ... lucky!

Now… the purpose of the 3 part post of Christmas day.

The Mystery Machine.

This van used to be ours. I remember car-pooling in that miracle van since 3rd grade. We extended family used the miracle van for all of our excursions. It held ALL of us. In later elementary my dad gave it to my uncle. I completely forgot about the van until it made a miracolous appearance 🙂

Of course we needed to take a picture with it!

Did I mention we love to mimic Forever 21 poses?

Apparently some of them are still on the Forever 21 pose.

For these next pictures… you’re going to see the angle change. In order to get the van with everyone in it and to have the flash actually make an effect on the picture my sister had to place the camera in the middle of the street. By the way, the “town” we were in is called Richgrove; population: 2000 approximate. My cousins happen to live on the last street of the town.

So camera in the middle of the street my aunt is watching for any oncoming cars. It’s supposed to take 3 pictures on self-timer.



#1 Self Timer picture

#2 Self-timer picture

#3 Self Timer Picture

Maybe now you know why I’m so random and crazy, kind of 🙂

 

Flattered vs Sweet

Ben and I were talking about one of the situations he was asked advice on by his friend.

Scenario:

There’s a girlfriend (GF), a boyfriend (BF) and a random guy (RG). The GF was approached by RG. RG gave GF his number. GF tells the BF “Oh, I’m flattered.”

* Time passes* Unknown as to how much time.

GF takes back flattered statement and says “That was sweet of him (RG) to put himself out there for me”

Problem:

Should BF be worried? Should BF say something to GF?

Background: Other things have happened which is causing him to worry as well.

Ben’s outlook: The fact that GF isn’t satisfied with BF and enjoys being flattered by RG(s) is not good. She isn’t ready for commitment, if that’s what BF is looking for. Honestly, what BF-GF relationship isn’t looking for sole-commitment?! Anyway.

Melanie’s outlook:

Flattered? No big deal. GF took the number, smiled at the guy, walked away, and threw the number away.

Oh wait!? She took back being flattered and said “HOW SWEET?!”

GF already programmed the number in her phone.

With my outlook and Ben’s outlook put together… BF needs to have a heart-to-heart with the GF.


Any feedback, girls?

Guys, what do you think?