Operation: Life Clean-Up

Facebook

This past weekend I re-activated my de-activated Facebook to retrieve pictures of my dad. I decided to post a Facebook status with my number and blog url. I also decided to RE-de-activate on Monday, which I have done.

I had 10 friend requests and 30 notifications from different friends within 48 hours. Most from friends I already keep in contact with.

Someone please help me understand why I must keep my Facebook? I’m told it’s more convenient to keep in contact with friends. If friendships were all about convenience, we’d have so many friends. I’m sorry, I’m not your friend out of convenience for you.

I don’t keep in contact with friends because its convenient for me. I keep in contact with friends because I care. I think of certain friends every now and then and I send them a text, an email, or I leave a voicemail.

Friendship does not consist of likes, comments and wall posts. We build friendships on conversations, struggles, and laughter.

I realize distance hinders a lot of those things we build our friendships on but I, as an idealist would rather not ruin friendship for convenience. I am perfectly happy to wait for an email, text, or phone call rather than receive a wall post consisting of 8 words to sum up the past 6 months of your life.

What have I discovered through my Facebook ordeal? I have realized through my inability to disappear completely from Facebook, I am incapable of letting go those who need to be let go. What does that mean? I am the type of friend who cannot let you go until something drastic has been done to our relationship-lying, deceit, etc. If it is merely a lack of communication, I believe we are still friends. That belief is untrue.

For example my friend Christina. I had de-activated my Facebook in February. Unbeknownst to me, she had changed her number sometime after that. She found me by messaging my ex-bf for my number to let me know she was getting married and wanted to send me a wedding invitation.

There are ways of finding those you really want to get in contact with.

On the other-hand, I had texted a college friend “I will be de-activating my Facebook.” She then proceeded to ask, “Why?!” I told her, “Andre broke up with me and I need to get away from it” I never heard from her until I had sent a mass e-mail about my blog. Mind you, it was two months after I had text her about my breakup. I do not know how difficult it would have been for her to send me a text saying something like “Sorry, I don’t know how you feel, etc” This particular friend, a term I am using very loosely in this instance, was a friend in name but not in action. She would not care if I had Facebook or not. She would be categorized as one of those “friends” I need to let go of.

What am I doing? I will be going through Operation: Life Clean-Up.

I’m starting over but allowing people to find me, either through email, blog, or my no-picture Facebook.

I know you are thinking “FACEBOOK?! You just ranted about Facebook.” I make allowances for those friends who have made it a point to send message me on Facebook and I understand they never check their emails, have limited texting plans, and phone calls are out of the question because we’re on different time zones or a different continent altogether!

I will not add you if I already have your phone number, email, and blog url-it just doesn’t make sense to me. Albeit, my blog views jumped to 100+ each day I was on Facebook I’m not too crazy about trafficking to my blog if no one comments or communicates with me.

Again, I’m a difficult person to understand and I sympathize with you; I really do. I know you are probably thinking I want to boost my ego so I can find out how many people are searching for me, who want to keep in contact with me, who miss me, etc. I’m sorry to let you know that is untrue. I am perfectly happy to become a hermit and have my blog as my best friend. Ask Renae or Danny, they will agree with me.

Welcome to my Randomness XIV

My life has been quite uneventful this week.

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I’ve been sleeping on the couch this week.

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I found bangles that fit from H&M (finally) . I have tiny wrists so its difficult to find bracelets/bangles that stay without making my wrists look even smaller!

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Some reflexology lady is coming to my house tomorrow after lunch.

We’ll see how it goes!

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Paid off another student loan! One more to go 🙂

I can also cross that off this list.

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Looking over that list… I’ve crossed a few things off 🙂

  • Renewed Disneyland pass and added WOC viewing!
  • Bought a KBF pass went 3x in the summer.
  • I went to SD-Pastor Merritt’s church and Chicago
  • I went to the beach-Manhattan Beach/Huntington Beach
  • I went to Hollywood, Roscoe’s, Pink’s and OC.
  • Went on a 2 week spending fast vs. one week 🙂
  • Still working on that knot.. hopefully reflex lady can help.

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I’m going through withdrawals. I need to get out of LA County again..


Yes, I know I just went on “vacation” but literally one day out of LA was totally not enough!

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I’ve been drinking more than a gallon of water this week. CRAZY! I’m just always so thirsty…

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I’m slowly getting used to not eating the untouchables. I still have to buy a journal to list everything I eat.

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My new snacks have been cereals. All of the actual snacks have soy and peanut contamination, lol. I’m thinking of making my own granola/trail mix, with cereal. 🙂

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This past week I have- I had LIFE cereal, Kellogg mini wheats, and craisins. Yummy munchies

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Another volleyball game tomorrow! Oh, we won both sets, undefeated, no matches lost.

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My goal: get my overhand serve back. I haven’t been practicing unlike last year where I did it all the time for volleyball.

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I’m going on another spending fast. This time I’m leaving all my credit cards at home. Meaning, my gas tank can never be close to empty and I cannot forget my phone anymore.

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Have an awesome weekend everyone! I’ll be studying, yeah… [severe sarcasm]

The life of a single…

I’m having a conversation with my married cousin living in Hawaii about our cousin’s wedding. We’re both in the bridal party. I’m telling her about my idea I found online.

She interjects, “I know this is really random but are you open to meeting guys….?”

Me: Uh, yeah…?

Her: He’s Filipino but he’s tall. He’s really nice. But he has braces…

Me: Filipino is ok as long as he’s tall LOL.

Her: Yes…hesitation…. but he’s in the navy…

Me: Oh… ok. so how often did you guys hang out?

Her: Him and your Manong Rag hung out a few times when he was stationed in San Diego. He stopped by the house when he was deployed in Hawaii for a few months. He’s really nice.. you guys can meet next year when we move to San Diego…

Me: How tall is he?

Her: like 5’10” … right hun? (she’s talking to her husband) .. background noise. He has braces though.

Me: Oh braces are ok.. because he’ll have nice teeth..!!!

Her: Yeah yeah. haha. Go on your sister’s Facebook and see manong rag’s friends. His name is… [wait for it…]

Lloyd… [inside my head-he would have a name like Lloyd… ]

Me: Ok, but how are we supposed to meet?

Her: When we move to San Diego!

Me: When is this?

Her: Next year around April or May

Me: Oh ok…

Her: Get a Facebook then you guys can talk with each other!

Me: Ugh, no. I can wait til next year when you guys get here!

Her: Look at his pictures!

Me: Uh, no.. don’t tempt me to anonymously get a Facebook. . .

Her: Mel, I’m glad you’re open to all this…

Me: Yeah manang… I’m not a bitter single woman..

Her: Good, I’m glad. So I expect you to visit me often in San Diego…

 

Sorry, I JUST HAD TO!

So, I’m weird and quirky.

I have a certain way of doing things, a certain way I live my life, a certain way of dealing with people. That’s just me, MELANIE.

Where’s this going?

I had to. I’m sorry.

DELETE his number from my phone…

WHY?

Because. It was just weird for me. We still e-mail back and forth but, I felt like it.

Last night, I laid in bed flipping through my contacts which I do on occasion to send texts to friends I haven’t spoken to in a while and I came across his, on a whim, I deleted it.

I must say it took 2 tries. As I pushed the delete button I received a text message, FAIL. Try again.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. So, since I don’t know what I’m doing I don’t want to add anymore I don’t knows.

Yes, I’m interested but I’m not interested enough to go through the unknowns with him. I’m not interested enough to break down Melanie barriers and walls.

I’m not interested enough to go through the whole getting there stage… I don’t even know what that means.

It just isn’t enough to let him see me from my castle tower surrounded by the Great Wall of China with a moat as deep and wide as the Grand Canyon.

What I do know?

We’ll continue e-mailing and maybe through that I’ll know.


Besides…we’re acquaintances getting to the friends stage, I think.

Ugh, SEE! No one knows?! I’d rather just not think about it. So, there with the deleting his number and posting of this post.

It’s done!

Short term vs. Long term Plans/Goals

Life has been topsy-turvy lately in the aspect that I don’t know what I’m doing next week.


Literally, I live day-to-day.

The funny thing is I have all these long-term goals.

1. Passing my CPA exam (1 year)

2. Achieving my CPA license (2 years of CPA “supervision”)

3. TESL abroad (yearly renewable contract)

4. MBA degree (Lord willing after 5 years)

Those are all within a year or within the next several years.

Yet, I don’t know what I will be doing next week or next month. As in, what job.

Oh, I’m not laid off or getting laid off just applying at different jobs everywhere and anywhere., still in the accounting field.

It’s quite comedic for me to have all these long-term goals but not knowing what exactly I’m doing next week. I used to plan things 2-3 weeks in advance. Now, I have to leave my schedule open to anything and everything that might hit me, literally.

So far, I have a job test with METRO on the 24th. Apparently, it will take 3 hours. Goodness gracious it’s as long as one of my CPA exams!

I’ve applied at different school districts as well I don’t expect a reply until a month because the deadlines are the last week of September.

A lot more waiting to do…

What Am I Doing?!

So this week I wanted to wean myself off Benadryl.

Tuesday I took Loratadine. A non-drowsy anti-histamine.

I tossed and turned until 1am where I resorted to turning on the lights to write in my journal.

I fell asleep with the light on sometime around 2am.

I woke up tired, to say the least.

Last night, I took Benadryl when I came home from church before 9pm. I have to time it just right. I don’t want to take it too soon and the drowsiness wear off but don’t want to take it too late, knock-out, and not be able to wake up the next morning.

I learned the hard way in college, LOL.

So I was prepping for my phone interview until 10pm. I went to bed I woke up around midnight because my stomach was hungry.

Mind you I say stomach because in my mind I don’t get hungry at night. I try not to eat after 7pm unless its Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

My stomach was also feeling a little cold. Weird, I know but I’m random like that. You should know! 🙂

I tossed and turned until 12:30. I couldn’t take it, I’ve been so good the past month I got up and went to the kitchen. I settled for rice milk with Life cereal. Still being good. My mom was on the phone at that time in the living room so I asked her to massage my back as I ate my cereal.

Done with the cereal. I am still hungry and yes, my stomach is still cold. Smart move right with the cereal?

So, I did it.

I went for the rice and the left-over spam from last night.

I settled back onto the couch with my mom massaging my back. (I think she was on the phone with my family in the Philippines, if you’re wondering what in the world is she doing on the phone at 12:30 am?!)

There was a pillow readily available for my head to rest on. Somehow I fell asleep with my mom massaging me and awakened to her telling me to go to my bed. It was 2:30 am.

I laid on my bed unable to sleep. I went to the bathroom when I came back I found a spider in the corner of my room on the wall. I ran to the closet for the Electrolux vacuum (mind you this vacuum has 3 pieces, we’ve had this vacuum since before I was born, I think my mom says before she met my dad, maybe, I don’t know…)

I was not joking about the 3 pieces. So, I gather the vacuum, set it up and proceed to exterminate the spider. Now, I’m all grossed out and can’t sleep in my room until it has been thoroughly vacuumed. Can’t vacuum my room at 3am because my sister would throw a fit about waking her up.

I gallivant to the living room where I set up shop.

Sometime around 3:30 am I fell asleep.

Oh my life these days.

My First Trip to the Allergist

Yesterday I went to an allergist. I didn’t know what to expect exactly. I talked with a few people who went to the same allergist I saw. One of them had back testing and the other had it on their arm…


Me? It was my back. I was given a sheet of different foods and told to check off what I eat.

Maybe they should have told me to check off what I did NOT eat.

The only things I did not check off on the sheet: barley, malt, coffee, hazelnut, and sesame oil.

Had I known what the consequence of checking off vs. non-checking off was, I would have lied and said I don’t eat.

I’m kidding. It was definitely quite an experience.

I laid on my stomach and the nurse cleaned off my back with alcohol. Yes, alcohol does sting me.


After my back was alcohol sanitized she proceeded to write on my back the different types of food I would be tested on. I could not have anything touching my back-my hair or hospital gown, etc.

One by one she began to poke me. Ok, I lied. It wasn’t just a poke. If you’ve ever sewn on buttons imagine that. You stick the needle through the button-hole and pull through so the thread is pulled through completely. Yeah, except imagine that in one swoop. Now imagine that over and over again. Yes, after a while it becomes somewhat painful.

Too bad as they tested me I couldn’t taste it in my mouth 🙂 One can think of weird things lying prostrate on the examination table.

After the first line of testing I starting anticipating the amount of pain I would feel. The pain grew with each “hook” especially the closer they got to my lower back-less skin and flesh to “hook”. Oh and what did they hook into my skin? The type of food I had checked off. If I remember correctly, the nurse said 90 “pokes”. Honestly, I lost count after 36.

After the poking, I had to lie still for 15minutes. No touching my back, no letting anything touch my back, no itching, etc.

The results?

Oh, there’s different levels. +/- , 1, 2, 3, and 4.

3-4 are STAY AWAY.

+/- , 1’s are mild reactions.


Please rephrase your question to: what are you NOT allergic to?!

Soy, almonds, potatoes, green peas, peanuts, celery, cucumber, salmon, scallops, tomatoes, cherries, and peaches.

Hm..am I missing anything?

Soy-soybean, soy sauce, tofu, etc

Peanuts- in the bean family. No beans of any sort.

Green string beans are ok-I tested negative for that.

Although I tested positive for salmon I’m thankful I can still have shrimp, lobster, shellfish, etc. Ah-I can still have SUSHI!

I’m still going to stick to my diet not as religiously though. A little bit of rice every now and then, etc.

After we left the doctor’s office I was overcome with itchiness. I’m assuming it’s from all that testing they did. I showed my brother my back and he called me a sicko! It was pretty nasty I looked in the mirror you can see red dots, scratches, bumps, etc. I’m assuming the more pronounced “scars” are where I tested positive.

My sister was laughing when I told her what I was allergic to. When we were little my mom made carrot and celery juice for us to drink. LOL.

My family LOVES salmon.

Majority of foods we prepare contain SOYsauce.

And potatoes are carbs-which I love love love!!!

Goodbye french fries, for good 😦 maybe. haha.

Oh…and the weather plays a major part in my eczema. I didn’t react so strongly at school because it was humid and sticky. I ate a lot of potatoes and soy products, ignorantly of course.

I most definitely want to go to China now 🙂

Oh and I would recommend seeing an allergist and being tested for food. It’s quite informative and most definitely helpful!

I Am Blessed.

I had a difficult time thinking of what to call this post. It was between God’s been good or I am blessed. Well, obviously you know what I decided.

In all honesty, I am blessed because God is good and God is good so that’s why I am blessed. 🙂

This past week with my eczema wreaking complete havoc in my life I’ve been crying out to God each night for some kind of relief, comfort, and strength. Everywhere I turned whether it was reading my Bible, listening to a sermon, or talking with someone the recurring theme was God’s goodness and how blessed we are no matter what struggle we’re going through. It has helped me refocus. I’m not better but God has really shown me a lot this past week.

I AM BLESSED…

1. Because of salvation and the assurance I will be going to Heaven one day.

2. I grew up in a Christian environment.

3. I am free from the scars and damage of the world because of God’s mercy.

4. I have no major regrets in life.

5.  I have attended a Christian school or been home-schooled since 3rd grade.

6. I have a relationship with my parents-not saying its perfect but we understand and respect one another.

7. My parents are still married to each other.

8. My brother and sister have a desire to serve the Lord.

9. I have never gone hungry or been without a place to sleep at night.

10. I have my own bedroom with a bed and a closet.

11. I am surrounded by people who love me and pray for me.

12. Godly friends-at home and spread across the continent and globe.

13. I have all 5 senses-touch, smell, hear, see, taste.

14. I am healthy compared to the rest of the world.

15. I have a full-time job with benefits.

16. I have a car that starts every morning-it has AC, heat, radio, power windows, and power doors.

17. I’ve had my gains than losses and I’ve known more joy than hurt.

18. My church uncompromisingly believes and stands firm upon the Bible.

19. My youth director & his wife changed my life-through their love, sacrifice, and time they invested in me.

20. My extended family is not at odds with one another. We enjoy and cherish each others company.

21. I live in a nice, clean neighborhood. Not saying it’s always safe but I don’t live in the hood.

22.  I discovered RU-a ministry I attend. I’m able to minister and be ministered to. It’s a blessing and encouragement to be surrounded by people heading in the same direction bearing each others’ burdens along the way.

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I decided to stop at 22 because that’s how old I am 🙂

Welcome to my Randomness XI

This week has been hard. A lot of things have happened to say the least. He and I are texting 🙂

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I went MIA this past weekend and got rest.

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I will be able to see an allergist on Monday! It’s what I’ve been waiting for these past two weeks! Lord willing they will be able to give me some type of relief.

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Wednesday I cried out to the Lord with my mom as my witness. I have never done anything of the sort in my entire life but it was good for me. I let it all out-my fears, my desires, my apprehensions, my anxieties, and my thoughts. It was freeing to have someone else finally share in the burden of what has become my life. Confusing I know.

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I’m praying about teaching in China. There is nothing keeping me here in the states. Of course after I pass my CPA exam I will pray more fervently. I have been in contact with someone about China. 🙂

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My lolo isn’t doing well. My family is travelling to see him this weekend. I wish I could go but I don’t want to get worse and we always stay up late with the family when we’re all together.

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This past week I’ve been in bed at 9pm. Amazing. NEVER EVER happens. I just wish I was able to fall asleep at 9 or 9:30 or even 10 but I’m not. I’m wide awake hoping to fall asleep soon but I don’t because of the irritation.

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September 11th is the first game for my volleyball league. I am SO EXCITED!

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A lot of the messages I’ve been hearing on my way to work this week have been specifically applicable to my circumstance. Today as I was listening to David Hocking I was encouraged and rebuked. He was talking about God’s blessings-he was naming blessings and comparing our lifestyle to the rest of the world.


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I have been blessed although I am suffering at the moment I can still say God is good. He has blessed me and is still blessing me. The blessing of salvation alone is enough God didn’t have to do anything else.

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This week I have clung to these verses for comfort:

PS 31

9Have mercy upon me, O LORD, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.

10For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.

12I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.

17Let me not be ashamed, O LORD; for I have called upon thee: let the wicked be ashamed, and let them be silent in the grave.

21Blessed be the LORD: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.

22For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee.

24Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Ps 84:11

11For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

Rom 8:26

26Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Fwd: How to Stay Young

An email I received from my mom. Just had to post it 🙂

1. Try everything twice.

One woman’s epitaph read, ” Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!”

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

(Keep this in mind if you are one of the grouches!)

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, technology, etc. Never let the brain get idle.

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. (The devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.)

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, laugh long, and laugh hard. Laugh until you grasp for breath.

If you have a friend that makes you laugh spend lots and lots of time with him/her.

6. The tears happen:

Endure, grieve, and move on….

The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves.

LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:

Family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, etc.

Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:

If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips.

Take a shopping trip, even a trip to the next county, or to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You make not get a second chance.


And if you don’t send this to four people, who cares? But do share this with someone 🙂

Remember: Lost time can never be found.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.