Day 3 of Honesty

Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save himself for marriage…

Yes, I do believe one should save him/her self for marriage. Why? Because of respect for myself and my future husband. Currently, kids get into relationships in elementary and JR high… They do things that kids shouldn’t even think about doing but they 12, 13, 14 years old.  Sadly, 99% these kids aren’t going to be marrying their first love. These kids are 12, 13, 14; they probably aren’t going to get married until 24, 25, 30 years old. How many partners will they ‘give’ themselves away to? How many partners will they have said, “I love you” to?

Respect is not the only reason I save myself for marriage but because God expects that of me; to stay pure and save myself for marriage.

The Worst Series of Encounters Pt. 2

Remember Part 1? 

It’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged, I had to look at my most recent post. Sadly and shamefully, it’s dated May 29. It is now nearing the end of summer. 

Goodness gracious! How time has flown. 

Anyway, back to the series of worst encounters (ever), if I may add… 

So as Renxkyoko pointed out…maybe he needs a second chance? First dates hardly go well…right?

Well, the following Saturday we were scheduled to hang out. I say scheduled because it was a group event. 

Oh how I love group events. It allows me the freedom to either personalize my attention to one person….or to the group. 

So. Saturday. My sister’s college had this rally going on and since my cousin works at her school his family was going to be there. 

More specifically his daughters who are 2 years old and 11 months. (At the time, they were those ages 🙂 )

Kyleigh (2y)

Kloeigh (11mos)

 Before I pick up the kiddos, I drop off my sister around 9am to help set-up. 

I’m sitting in my car relaxing. I’ve got the seat back and I’m leaning back. 

I receive a text. ‘Hey. What you up to?’

Me: Nm. 

I’m relaxing in my car right? And when I’m in my car it should be as if I’m in my own home. Doing what I want…right?

Well, I’m in my car and I’m stretching, getting comfortable, cracking my lower back. . .

Text: Why are your hands waving in the air. 

Me: O M G . . . FREAK OUT! 

Who is this guy? and why is he watching me!?!?!?!

EEEEEWWWWW!!!!! 

Now, I’m upset. I pull out my phone and text and call everyone I can think of who would be available to talk at this very moment so I can vent. 

I find someone in a few minutes and before baring my soul, I look around to make sure no one is standing too close to my car just in case I get too loud as I vent. 

O M G . . . there HE IS! 

About 500 feet from my car, standing under a tree, with a friend, FACING MY CAR!!!!

Now I’m really upset! I let him have it through her (my friend on the phone!) LOL

And yes… I’m attending this group event later on in the evening and he is going to be there!

I ignore him the rest of the time I’m there with the kiddos.

Oh and I definitely gained another shadow that day.

Walk over this way with one of the kids… and someone will follow and stand around that area.

Walking over the other way and yup… there he is walking over the other way…

(Although I have tunnel vision my friend conveniently noticed. Actually she said it was so obvious and for my friend to notice that it HAD to be obvious. Her tunnel vision is worse than mine!)

To end the rally… I’m standing a bit close by to a circle he is in and he turns to me…

HIM: Hey Mel, what time are we meeting up tonight. 

Me: I don’t know. Text darlene I won’t be answering my phone tonight. 

WAIT A MINUTE! Did anyone notice anything weird?

HE CALLED ME MEL! 

EXCUSE ME! How long have I known you? Yet again, how many times have we spoken to each other?

Part 3 coming soon. . . I promise this time, it will be soon 🙂 

Blogging about this definitely gets me all irked up again! LOL

Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE! Pt 2

This is one of those posts that will continue… Click here to read the first post 

Do not text me if you’re planning to ask me out. Call me. Ask me in person. If you text me I’ll take it as a casual “Let’s hang out, friend” 

 

Yes, I expect you to pay. You asked me out. I’m taking time out of my schedule to “entertain’ you. You pay. If you would rather go dutch, let me call my girls to join me.

 

I see you ogling the girl. I’m not blind or stupid. I know when it’s a glance and a stare. 1+ looks are considered staring/ogling.

 

I hate hearing the word trust. Sadly but honestly, you are guilty until you are proven innocent. That’s how it goes with me.

 

Be a player and I will never talk to you again. I have high standards for friends and I have even higher standards for potential boyfriends. If you’re a player, you’re not my friend and will never be my boyfriend.

 

Don’t waste my time. If you don’t know what you are doing with your life and you aren’t even making steps to find out what you want to do, stop talking to me.

 

Call me. If you don’t want to be considered a bother then text me and ask if you can call tonight.. If you never text or sometimes text and you never call me, you and I are just friends.

 

Consider this a warning or a challenge: You have competition that already have priority in my life. My dad, my brother, my cousins, and my guy friends. They have set the bar and I love them dearly. You are required to stand out from the rest of them or you’re just another friend.

Boy, do me a favor, PLEASE!

I’ve had my share of dates the past month. One of the things that really irk me is that guys don’t really study up on a girl when they are given a chance. You can see my in my element, my environment. Me talking with my friends, me talking with adults, me sitting by myself, me playing with the kids. You can kinda get a feel of who i am. Do a little psycho-analysis. Please.

 

This is for all the guys that don’t want to do the homework…

Oh, me helping you means you’ve just slid into the friend category. Sorry 😦

 

Please talk intelligently. I’m not asking you to use big words; I’m asking you to use complete sentences. We were taught what complete sentences consist of in grade school. We have practiced complete sentences all our lives, do not start now to talk in incomplete sentences. I do not care if it’s a simple, complex, compound, complex-compound sentence; just make sure it is a sentence.

Do not make fun of other people in front of me. I have a sense of humor but my sense of humor does not consist of making fun of another or stepping on another person to put self above another. Some people are very witty. If you don’t know what witty means or what it consists of: you’re not witty and that means I don’t think you’re funny.

Do not buy me with your money. I always try to believe it’s the thought that counts. Anyone can flash around money and throw it down for everyone else. I notice when you’ve put thought into a gift or a date. Anyone can pick a place and pay for it but it really takes time and effort to make a date memorable but enjoyable.

Don’t refer to me as “man/dude”. Better yet don’t use the words “man/dude/bro”, etc in your conversation. I hardly use those words when I converse with you please do the same.

I just want to help, let me. I don’t know what it is with guys and not letting me plug-in the address to a gps so we can quickly start driving to our destination. I just want to help, I’m not trying to take over. Don’t be offended when I take something out of your already full hands, I know you are capable but I just want to help. I’m not expecting you to be perfect and mr. macho man. If that’s what you want to be though, you’re trying to woo the wrong girl.

Do not mock me. If there is one thing I hate is being mocked. The next thing I hate is being mocked with a high girly pitched voice.

Get your focus of yourself, now. Stop worrying if I like you or if you’re doing it all wrong because you are. I look for friends. I want a friend before I attach boy to the beginning of the word ‘friend’. If you won’t be my friend first and allow me to talk nonstop about stupid things and let me get comfortable around you, it will not work. EVER. Then you won’t notice that I’m really quiet and answer with mono-syllabic answers. You won’t notice that I haven’t answered your text 3 hours later. When I start talking to you again it means you’ve slid further away from boyfriend material and into friend category.

Sometimes, I want you to let me be. People have bad days. I do not need you to try to make me laugh. I just want you to listen to me vent or to just talk about something else other than my situation. I don’t need you to make me laugh. If you really wanted to brighten my day we would go do something. It doesn’t have to be fancy but something little, simple, and nice.

Do not say the same joke over and over again. After you’ve said it the second time, it’s no longer funny. After you’ve said it for 3 weeks in a row, I will hit the delete contact on my phone, Facebook, email, etc. Every now and then repeat the joke but every time we hang out? Get another joke and use it once.

Lastly, but the most important, Do NOT try to impress me. You WILL fail. It irks me to no end. It rubs me the wrong way. I will start to ignore you. I will run away when I see you.

 

So, this is the basics of Melanie. I know, it’s far from basic but that’s why I’m still single. Honest, I’m not hard to please; I just want and need to know: I’m worth it-he risk of being wooed and courted even if it doesn’t work out between us. Call me old-fashioned but that’s me, Melanie.

Awww…you’re such a good brother!

My brother knows about my bucket list. This past Saturday he experienced what I had to go through on my casual date this past week. We all hung out as a group. My family was there and a bunch of my sister’s friends. Today my brother sends me a text:

 

11:43 am Bro: I know going on a blind date to knotts isn’t really what you want but too bad it’s what works haha april 16th if everything works out

ME: huh? blind date? lol

Bro: Nvm

ME: What? What are you talking about? I know you want to go to KBF but you never mentioned blind date

Bro: I know I was planning one for you but it didn’t work out

Me:: aw…..:: tears…::

ME: Hahahaha awwww… you’re such a good brother lol 🙂

Bro: I know :p haha

Me: Dork so what happened? Why didn’t it work out? Haha

Honestly, I was wanting to know how my brother would explain wanting to set his older sister on a blind date. Personally, I think the dude would’ve been freaked out and like Why in the world does this girl need her little brother setting her up on blind dates?! Right?! Anyway I digress.

Bro: He kinda likes someone. He’s a youth pastor. I guess he’s busy? And I don’t think he’s into blind dates??

Me: Omg lol who is this guy??

Bro: Blind date called blind dates for a reason =P

They basically didn’t want him.

I work at a school district  in the Nutrition/Food Service department. This department processes applications to free/reduced lunch.

The other day this lady calls and is asking about her ‘child’. He is considered a foster child.

We had to call her back and tell her to fill out an application at the district office so it can be processed later that afternoon and her child will be able to start receiving free lunch. My co-worker began to ask her questions.

The foster child is her grandson.

Co-worker: What happened to his parents?

Grandma: They basically didn’t want him. They were druggies.

Co-Worker: Oh my goodness really? That’s so sad.

Grandma: His mom had custody over him and she wouldn’t feed him. She would leave him alone for 4-5 hours everyday. She taped the refrigerator shut so he couldn’t eat anything.

Co-Worker: That’s horrible.

Grandma: I plan on keeping him. She can’t have him back. His dad is no better either. If she has another one, I’m going to kill her.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

After the conversation we started talking about that subject. How do some “parents” not even care? How can they leave their infant unattended for so long?

Personally, I’m sickened by some people and their selfishness. How selfish can someone be? What possesses one to completely neglect their child instead of seeking help? Even animals don’t forsake their babies.

When I was younger up until I started dating my Junior year in college, I didn’t want children. I babysit children and took care of them-fed them, played with them, etc. They weren’t even my children but I still made sure they were fed. They were happy. They were clean. It’s insane when you really think about it. I never had to FORCE myself to take care of them even through my laziness or frustration in watching 3 kids at one time…they still were getting that necessary attention.

 

So tell me, how does one become so twisted and psycho that they cannot take care of their child?

Delayed Gratification…

This past weekend life threw one of its many curve balls. . . Sickness, pain, suffering, were among everyone’s feelings this past week. It has caused me to ponder a bit.

In the Filipino culture we are taught at a very young age to pursue our studies to have a better life than our parents have. No matter how “well-off” we were when growing up, it’s not good enough they expect us to live better than that.

My parents have worked hard. I don’t think I grew up deprived of anything. I suppose one could make the argument that although materiality was readily accessible or able to be bought my parents never spoiled us by buying items we wanted just because they could. My parents made sacrifices for us and I have never felt the desire to take advantage of them.

I’m concerned. When have you actually reached “better” isn’t there always something “better”?

My parents have worked hard. Earning every vacation day they took whether in actual time off or dollars. As I sit here looking at their life, I would say they have reached the “American Dream” everyone hopes for. The “American Dream” right…? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They have definitely pursued this happiness, they found it freely in Christ. They gained a few extra things along the way: each other, 3 children, a home, a car for each driver, healthcare ( I had to throw that out there, sorry)…

Since I think they’ve reached the “American Dream” I want to know…”Have they enjoyed it?”

Everyone talks about delayed gratification. Putting off pleasure and happiness now and trading it in for sweat, hard-work, and tears. So what is the time limit of delayed? For a child, it may be graduating from High School or college. For the college student, it’s graduating from college and getting that first job. For the young adult, it’s vesting in an IRA. Do you notice how the time stamps never end? There is always one more rung on the ladder to step up to.

When is one able to enjoy his accomplishments? For the Senior, it may be the summer before starting college. For the college graduate, it may be the summer before adult responsibilities kick in (or maybe 6 months after graduation when the student loan bills start marching in). That’s when it stops though, the time. Maybe I should say that’s when time snowballs. As soon as the first bill comes in, adult life snowballs: “How do I pay this bill when I’m still looking for a job?” The questions and concerns never end.

So tell me. When does one enjoy? Does it take a medical scare to jar us from our delayed gratification goals? Does it take a family member’s death to shake us to what is really important in life? Does it take a fire to burn down all our possessions to realize we never enjoyed our “props” in the house.

So I ask you today: leave the housework for tomorrow and spend time with your children. Take a break and pick up the phone and call your parents. Sit in front of the computer and Skype with your cousin. Drive 3 hours on Saturday to visit your aunt. Write the letter, the 2 page hand-written letter you said you were going to write ages ago.

If you die in your sleep, your housework will be done by someone else but one cannot hug your child for you. One cannot write the letter you said you were going to. One cannot be ‘you’ as hard as they try.

Dear Valentine’s Day

Dear Valentine’s Day,

When I was in elementary, Valentine’s day was an excuse to get candy and throw a class party.  All I had to do was buy a box of valentines cards, sign my name, and throw one on each desk. EASY!  In High School, it got a bit more complicated. Everyone is wondering who your valentine was or you’re wondering if someone would ask you. It was a big deal. In college me and my girlfriends took ourselves out until one by one we got boyfriends and/or husbands.

This year I have no boyfriend and I don’t have that group of girlfriends to go out with anymore. Even though I’ve spent a majority of my Valentine’s day ‘alone’ I’ve had time to reflect and observe other’s traditions of this holiday.

Why is it that friends don’t do things for each other? Better yet, why is there so much emphasis on one day of the year to let that “special someone” know they are a special someone to you? (How lame are those terms anyway? Special someone)  Why can’t this one day of expressing love be lived throughout the week, month, year, and decades? Instead we cherish our loved one one day of the year. Ever so often the day after Valentine’s day we find the words written on the Valentine’s card are as contrary to how we feel less than 24 hours later. How sad.

So how about it Valentine’s day? Wouldn’t you like to be celebrated every day instead of once a year?

 

Welcome to my Randomness XXVIII

Finally, a post on the scheduled day! It’s been a long time coming.

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I’m going to Disneyland today to celebrate a friend’s birthday.

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Happy Birthday Friend!

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I went to Best Buy on Monday with 2 other guy friends. He was working, of course. He walked directly behind us as we were walking across the mobile section.

* * * * * * * * * *

Did he see me? Probably. So says the two guys and of course they would know.

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I need to go back to Best Buy. I’m going to buy a laptop. This time I’m bringing my dad so he doesn’t think I’m stalking him.

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Good plan right? You better say yes.

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I love my job. I know I said a post is coming and it is.

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I must say I’ve been working less than a month and they’ve signed me up for 2 training sessions already.

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One was last week in Downey. (Sadly, waste of a day) It could’ve been half day but it was a whole day.

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One is today in El Segundo. Yeah,  I know. So far away.

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Oh well. I’ve heard good feedback about this one so I’m excited.

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Just fyi btw. I have been LOVING this weather! So nice, warm, sunny. Ah. What I LOVE about California J

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My congratulations to Renae @ www.naesheart.com She and James are expecting a boy

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I miss you dearly my readers but as soon as I get my laptop I hope to blog more than once a week.

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I picked up my brother from basketball practice. When he got in the car he said, ‘can we get food or something? From McDonald’s?

* * * * * * * * * *

K, you still need to wash my car when we get home though.

I drive over to McDonald’s close to the school. He orders 6 piece chicken nuggets and medium fries.

* * * * * * * * * *

I’m driving to the first window. ‘K, where is your money’

Oh, I thought you were going to pay.

‘OH MY GOODNESS!’

You could change it to small fries instead.

I get to the window change my order to 20 piece chicken nuggets. This boy is insane. I think Dar is rubbing off on him or something.

* * * * * * * * * *

Anyway. I’m on my way home now.

‘Why aren’t you eating?!’

Oh I’m waiting for soda. We have soda at home.

‘OMG. I could have gone to the McDonald’s by home?! You still need to wash and vacuum my car!’

* * * * * * * * * *

He eats in the car. He also eats at home.

He washes and vacuums the car as well.

* * * * * * * * * *

Oh my brother.

 

In my defense: Dear Best Buy Guy

Dear Best Buy Guy,

I don’t know how often the customers you help give you their number and I realize I may be another drop in the bucket. If I may explain myself properly, I don’t usually talk to people. Period. The extent of the conversation ends at, “Thank you. I’m fine.”  Sharing information to strangers who are the same age as me is uncalled for.

As I walked away the first time I met you, I knew I should have gotten some type of contact information but shrugged it aside. Besides, I’m not one to dwell on missed opportunities. How was I supposed to know that I would be back a week and a half later because my phone was having problems? How was I supposed to know the day I actually decide to come in you would be helping me? How often does that happen?

Honestly, you didn’t help my case either. You didn’t have to remember me, remember what you helped me out with, remember where you were helping me, or, remember everything we talked about. It would have been so much easier if you didn’t pick up the conversation where we left off. You even offered to put a screen protector on for me without charge. When I reiterated not being charged, you specifically told me to look for you and you would put it on for me.

In our last and final conversation, there were many times you could have mentioned a girlfriend. When I asked how was your weekend? You could have said, “I didn’t get to spend time with my girlfriend as much since I was working.” Or when I asked if you were a typical Filipino able to play the piano? You could have said, “No I don’t but my girlfriend does”, or “No, but my girlfriend’s siblings do…etc.” Don’t worry, I forgive you. I utterly failed as well, in my attempt to steer the conversation into a more polished and smooth transition into giving you my number, etc.

Then again, as I was asking you if people were having the same problems I was, you looked at me smiled and said, “No, actually I think it’s only you.” Look buddy! I do a horrible job at lying, especially when I’m already freaking out because I’m nowhere near my comfort zone. I took it as if you were putting me under the radar. Shouldn’t you have gotten the hint that I’m not a very polished flirty type girl? (Actually I’m not a polished flirty girl at all) Looking back, I probably should have said something like, “Well you found me out, does that bother you?” something completely absurd as that. (At least, that’s what I think a polished flirty girl would do, I WOULDN’T KNOW!) I assume I didn’t answer the question as you expected me to because (actually I don’t think I commented at all) you covered up and said, “I actually haven’t sold many of these phones and I haven’t done any returns either.”

Back to my utter failure at the smooth transition of giving you my number, you provided that and I suppose you could say I used it against you. You were finishing up the transaction. You stood right in front of me, looked me in the eyes,  and said something to the effect of well maybe I’ll see you again about your phone and flashed your dazzling smile at me. I stood there and blurted out, “If not, here’s my number.” Then I walked away. I promise you, if there was a more discrete way to run away, I would have done so.

No, I didn’t linger to see your facial expression. No, I didn’t flash a cutesy smile back. No, I didn’t say call me soon. No, I didn’t bat my eyelashes (how does one do that anyway?). By the way, this whole process? I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. I have no idea how anyone can do such a thing on a regular basis. Everyone tells me it takes practice. I’m sorry. I’m not one to practice such an absurd and ridiculous transaction. This is definitely my first and last time, in a long time. I did say in my 22 years of living this is the first time I’ve actually wanted to give a guy my number. My friend corrected me and said, “You should probably only start giving your number away to guys when you’re at least 17 or something.” Let me clarify, “In the last six years of my life, I have never once wanted to give my number out to a guy. Let’s hope it won’t happen again until six or seven years later.”

If I were to ever run into you again? I would start laughing aloud and apologize for the awkward everything. I would probably explain to you I never do such things. EVER. Then again, why would you believe me?

Last but not least, thank you, you were the perfect person to allow me the opportunity to cross of, “Give a guy my number” on my bucket list. Too bad, you didn’t say if you had a girlfriend or not. I think my readers would have enjoyed this letter much better if I titled it, “Dear Best Buy Guy’s Girlfriend”.

🙂

Best Buy Customer,

Melanie T

PS. How awkward would it be if you googled those terms, “Best Buy Customer, Melanie T”