To start things off…

I’ve written quite a bit about my family. To start things off I’ll write about two comical snippets of my sibling life.

Sunday night
I’m laying in bed all of a sudden I hear my brother,
John: who is online?!
Me: [check phone, omg I’m online! Hurry up and disconnect]
Me: sorry John. I turned off my wifi.
Sister: laughing her head off in her room (next door to mine)
Me: dude, shut up dar. Sorry John I keep forgetting.
Sister: still laughing her head off.

We find out quite a bit later it was my mom on Facebook LOL.

Last night…
My mom, brother, and sister are in the kitchen. My mom tells my sister to empty out the dishwasher. A few minutes later I hear my sister and brother arguing about chores…
John: don’t even dar mom told you to do it!
Mom: I told you to do it Darlene.
A few minutes later Darlene is in the bathroom washing up and John checks to see if she cleaned out the dishwasher.

John: when I get to heaven I’m going to find out how many times she lied to me about doing chores!

I can’t stop laughing.

Dar joins us and I relay the message to her.
Dar: no! You’ll forget!

John: no I won’t! he mumbles under his breathe to me … [ dude how many times has she lied??]

A Beautiful Day Calls for a Photo Shoot

All Photos Taken By Darlene Torres

Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills

Improvised Art

Expensive Toys

Los Angeles, CA from Griffith Observatory

Walking around Rodeo Drive

All photos taken by Darlene Torres

Awww…you’re such a good brother!

My brother knows about my bucket list. This past Saturday he experienced what I had to go through on my casual date this past week. We all hung out as a group. My family was there and a bunch of my sister’s friends. Today my brother sends me a text:

 

11:43 am Bro: I know going on a blind date to knotts isn’t really what you want but too bad it’s what works haha april 16th if everything works out

ME: huh? blind date? lol

Bro: Nvm

ME: What? What are you talking about? I know you want to go to KBF but you never mentioned blind date

Bro: I know I was planning one for you but it didn’t work out

Me:: aw…..:: tears…::

ME: Hahahaha awwww… you’re such a good brother lol 🙂

Bro: I know :p haha

Me: Dork so what happened? Why didn’t it work out? Haha

Honestly, I was wanting to know how my brother would explain wanting to set his older sister on a blind date. Personally, I think the dude would’ve been freaked out and like Why in the world does this girl need her little brother setting her up on blind dates?! Right?! Anyway I digress.

Bro: He kinda likes someone. He’s a youth pastor. I guess he’s busy? And I don’t think he’s into blind dates??

Me: Omg lol who is this guy??

Bro: Blind date called blind dates for a reason =P

CHRISTMAS: Got to mix things up a bit… Part 3 of 3

 

Read first post HERE

Read second post HERE

CHRISTMAS DAY.

At Cousin J, Cousin Jo, and Cousin Jul’s house. They are losing their house 😦

 

 

The Ladies...

Smiles

Aw, precious ... Their wedding is in July.

Eating

They had time to fall asleep ... lucky!

Now… the purpose of the 3 part post of Christmas day.

The Mystery Machine.

This van used to be ours. I remember car-pooling in that miracle van since 3rd grade. We extended family used the miracle van for all of our excursions. It held ALL of us. In later elementary my dad gave it to my uncle. I completely forgot about the van until it made a miracolous appearance 🙂

Of course we needed to take a picture with it!

Did I mention we love to mimic Forever 21 poses?

Apparently some of them are still on the Forever 21 pose.

For these next pictures… you’re going to see the angle change. In order to get the van with everyone in it and to have the flash actually make an effect on the picture my sister had to place the camera in the middle of the street. By the way, the “town” we were in is called Richgrove; population: 2000 approximate. My cousins happen to live on the last street of the town.

So camera in the middle of the street my aunt is watching for any oncoming cars. It’s supposed to take 3 pictures on self-timer.



#1 Self Timer picture

#2 Self-timer picture

#3 Self Timer Picture

Maybe now you know why I’m so random and crazy, kind of 🙂

 

CHRISTMAS: Got to mix things up a bit… Part 2 of 3

Missed the first part? Read here!

Continuing on from my last post…

Now everyone wants to go outside. Play some basketball. Etc.

I’m looking for my boots to join them… I can’t find them! I see other brown boots that are NOT mine.

I give up looking and stay inside to join the older folks with the karaoke. (I hear you: typical.)

They also went caroling without me. (New tradition)

 They went next door and were given $4 for their crooning serenade.

Such manners… as they relayed the information my bro J took the money. Cousin Ry yells “SCORE!” as they’re walking away… Someone also adds “JACKPOT!” to the shouts of surprise and thanks…

Apparently, there were some cute guys in the audience mix. To console myself by missing the cute guys sighting… I say… “Oh well they’re [Cousin Jul & sister D] still in college they’re probably like 19s.”

Cousin Jul: No! They were in college. Cousin J saw them to!

Cousin J: Yeah.. they were cute.

Cousin Jo: MAN! I missed it.

Me: Were they black?

Cousin Jo: You like them bros?!

Me/Cousin J: Duh, she dated a black guy for 2 years…

Cousin Jo: dude! I didn’t even know you like them bros!

Me: Uhm, yeah! Lol. FOUND OUT! Hahaha.

Somehow the conversation steered back to the cute guys.

Cousin Jul: I didn’t even notice them because an old guy answered the door and there was little kids running around.

Me: How do you know it’s not their kids?!

Cousin Jul: It’s probably their cousins!

Me: Oh no. I’m not signing up for no baby mama title.

Cousin Chuck: Oh yeah.. that’s what they were looking for. Good thing you didn’t go Mel.

Cousin Jul: You guys are so messed up!

And with that conversation we wrapped things up at this house and proceeded to say our goodbyes, hugs, and “see you tomorrows” to everyone…



Packed up for the next house. It was 7:30 pm.

And what did we do?

Can you tell we love taking pictures together?

Cousin J and Cousin Jo

Sister wanted to be in the picture too!

When the tripod is setup; more people can get in the picture

 

Yes, we are weird and random. Ok, just me 🙂

 

At this house we continued our gift opening from this family.

We continued our caroling to random people (my cousin’s friends).

One more post left 🙂

CHRISTMAS: Got to mix things up a bit… Part 1 of 3

Christmas eve day.

Arrive in Bakersfield at 1:30pm.

Eat. (The most important part) (Of course, after I hugged everyone and their mother)

My cousin Toby showing us his madd piano skills.

Paused for a picture.

Sing and goof around. (My auntie provided the entertainment of goof around-she fell back against the chair she was sitting and was conveniently caught by the plant and the wall.) Needless to say, only 2 precious souls tried to help her get up while the rest of us were stuck cackling in our seats.

After setting her straight. I mean the chair straight.

Ugly sweater contest. (New tradition)

Supportive Audience

 

 

Ugly Sweater Contestants

White Elephant Gift Exchange.

 

Prepping for gift exchange

Hard at thought. Which should I choose?!

 

 



My bro J gets the gag gift! Girl's hott pink swim shorts!

We hit a lull. It felt like it was 10 pm. It was barely 6:30 pm.

 

I mean THEY hit a lull 🙂

 

We were soon revived with Pinta time. (New tradition)

Here comes Benjamin Franklin.

Getting into candy ready positions.

The first batter up... CHARGE!

CHARGE!

CHARGE some MORE!

Happy with our prizes!

**Notice some knee stains?

Gift Opening.

 

Gathering around...

Showing off our AERO shirts.

Excited about our mugs!

 

 

Happy Happy

 

To be continued…

Don’t tell anyone!

When I went home on Monday I told my mom all about the good news.  I told her, I’ll be taking TB test and fingerprinting on Wednesday.

I wasn’t able to tell my dad the good news because of how hectic the day was.

Tuesday mid-afternoon, after a work meeting, I saw my mom had called me twice. I call her back.

Mom: Did you tell them yet?

Me: No, mom.

Mom: Ok, don’t say anything yet because they could still change their mind.

Me: Ok mom. Ok.

My dad calls 15 minutes later

Dad: Did you tell your job?

Me: No dad, I didn’t.

Dad: Oh ok, don’t say anything yet until you’re sure.

Me: Ok. I go tomorrow for testing and some paperwork.

Dad: Ok, bye.

10 minutes later my mom calls me.

Mind you, I’m at work.

Mom: Did you get the job? Dad said you were going for testing.

Me: Mom, I need to take the TB test.

Mom: What did they say to you?

Me: Mom! I’m at work right now. Are you at work?

Mom: Yes

Me: Ok can you check your email?

Mom: Ok yeah. Yeah.

We proceed to have a conversation as she asks me questions. I answer her via email.

Email: They offered me the job. I accepted. Tomorrow (Wed) I go in for a TB test and fingerprinting. Friday they’re hoping my prints clear and we can do all the paperwork and HR stuff.

Mom: Oh ok. You didn’t tell your dad medical testing.

Hold on Mom. Dad is calling me.

I join the calls.

My mom tells my dad the background info.

Mom: She already took the test last week. (Correction, I took it last week of November) They interviewed her last week. They called her on Monday.

Dad: Oh ok.

Mom and Dad have a conversation. My mom is speaking in Tagalog as if I can’t understand.

Somewhere along that conversation my dad hangs up the phone without saying good-bye.

Before my mom leaves… You need to teach me how to three-way!

So much for remembering…

My brother’s football tournament was today.

My brother asked me to print off directions for my dad. Before I left for work.

I did. I couldn’t remember exact directions from the last time I dropped off my brother. So I went on google maps.  Instead of giving the bare minimum of directions based off google maps. I wrote extra stuff down, i.e. pass Ramona Blvd don’t pass Central. 2.1 miles from your last turn, etc.

When I handed my dad the directions I relayed the information I wrote down with a bit more detail. “You’ll pass Ramona and you keep going straight. It will look like you’re lost but you’re not. Monte Vista will be a small street-you’ll stop at a stop sign, etc.” My dad says, “Yeah, I’ll remember when we get closer.”

Fast forward 10 minutes…

My dad and brother are in the truck pulling out the driveway…

I’m in the kitchen getting ready to leave as well.

Hm, there’s this sheet of paper with my hand-writing on it…

OH MY GOODNESS! It’s the directions!

Hurrying out the door to catch them…I shake my head as my dad is smiling as he opens the car door.

 

Fast forward 30 minutes….

I randomly check my phone for any messages as I’m getting ready to exit the freeway

I got a missed call from John.

My thoughts: “Oh dear…what now?”

John: Never mind…we’re here.

I walk into my office and check my phone.

Text message from John: Nvm we found it lol we had to make 2 U-turn; haha.

So much for remembering…

 

Funny e-mail from my mom:

As soon as this happens…..

Retire with dignity…

“Well my mom said!”

I’ve been on the new employment radar…

Lately I’ve been losing weight.

Actually, I’ve lost weight and I’m not trying to purposely lose anymore. I’m more on the maintenance side of the weight issue.

A few days ago my mom said… “People don’t like it when you’re too skinny. They won’t hire you.”

 

For the record, I eat. I love eating but my list of untouchable foods encompasses a lot of the food my family eats daily. I’m stuck with veggies and rice.

By the way, they had salmon last night. My mom is planning to cook more salmon tonight. What will I get stuck with? Brussels Sprouts. Don’t get me wrong, I love veggies! My mom also knows if I don’t have anything to eat, I won’t eat. It’s a lose-lose situation for mom when she’s trying to get me to gain weight. They love their soy sauce 🙂

I love my mom…

I came home Monday night to a silent house. It was cold, rainy, and dreary outside. I was a hungry gal.

I open up the cupboards… hey! They’re full-ish!

Oh wait!

SOY?

Soy Protein?!

Mind you, when I didn’t know I was allergic to soy-I was the only one aside from my mom that regularly drank this stuff…

PEANUTS!

Almond Milk

Apparently, my mom forgot she has an allergic to everything person living in her house.

BUT WAIT!

Half-empty bag of….

Something I CAN eat!

I have found my substitute for POTATO chips! Not that I really liked potato chips but when you can’t have something you tend to miss it…Can I get a witness?!

Not that the above bold statement fit into what I am stating I just felt like inserting it in there.

My mom did go grocery shopping. She had high aspirations of cooking fajitas that evening for our lunches the next day. First she steamed asparagus and the Brussel sprouts because she bought a bunch of veggies and didn’t want them to go to waste…. Then she got distracted. What did she end up doing as it was getting close for her to get to sleep?

She marinated SALMON. If I recall…salmon is a BIG no-no.

I came into the kitchen and saw her with the salmon. She looked at me,  soy sauce in hand ready to pour into the pan…”Oh, you want to eat this..?” She places a salmon fillet into a separate pan….before she fully places it in there…”Uh, mom, that’s salmon…”

Mom: “Oh, oh, yeah that’s right.”

Way to go MOM!

Apparently to console me, she was cleaning up the pans she used to steam the asparagus and Brussel sprouts, “Melanie! Drink this juice because you can’t take anymore vitamins.”

“Yeah, mom that’s because it has soy in it.”

I drank it like a good daughter would. I had asparagus and Brussel sprouts for lunch the next day.

Just another random episode of my life…